When should your child no longer sleep with you?

Jessica - posted on 02/25/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My 7 year old son cries if I even suggest that he fall asleep in his room without me. And when I go to my room after he falls asleep he comes in at some point in the night.

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Amie - posted on 02/25/2009

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I'd generally say it's up to the parents but at 7 he should be sleeping on his own through the night. When my kids were 1 they got transitioned to their own room and now only come into our room when they've had a nightmare, which isn't often. Even then though unless they are really really upset by it they don't sleep with us. They get a cuddle and talk to them about it for a few minutes then tuck them back into their own beds. Our oldest is 8 so I assume she'd be around the same size as your son. I can't imagine sleeping with her every night between hubby and I. Mostly cuz she kicks and moves so much! LOL! Our 4 year old is the same way, our 21 month old we're not sure about since she's still in a crib so we go to her if she wakes up.

I don't know what to tell you other than be persistent, take him back to his room every time he does this. Get a night light or a brighter one perhaps if he already has one. Explain to him, he is more than old enough to understand, that he needs to sleep in his own bed. If you're ok with it tell him you will sit with him for awhile and read or just lay there but you will be sleeping in your bed and he will sleep in his. It will probably take awhile but it will eventually work out. =) I'll cross my fingers for you that he breaks the habit soon! Best of luck.

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Angela - posted on 03/13/2009

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How interesting to see what others think about this. I have 4 children 27yrs down to 15. throughout their childhood, they would come in the night if sick or a definate reason and they tended to outgrow the need around school age. However, i recently found out that my husbands 13 yr old son still sleeps with his mum. i find that ridiculous. Apparently she wasnt happy that it was noticed so she obviously knows there is something wrong with that. this is a bit different to what your saying but left unchecked you could be in real trouble trying to get your child to do other things you want as well. Consistancy at putting back, staying for a lullaby or short story or prayer if your so inclined, these can be helpful. Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 03/11/2009

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i hear u about shild sleeping and my child does the same actually they both did it oldest stopped when my youngest came along but now its the oldest and i keep tellin her go to ur room but she does it when ur sleepin and u only know shes there because u cant fix the blanket ..... i also have a problem that she will sleep anyway BUT her room ..... i wish i could get her to sleep in her room and not mine and not anyway else

Barbara - posted on 03/10/2009

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I guess we are different as parents. We figure they grow up so fast soon theyll be at the stage of wanting nothing to do with mom and dad. So we let our 11 yr. old son sleep with us as long as he wanted. He stopped on his own at age 8. Couldnt get him to sleep in our bed if we tried. Our daughter is 6. She goes to bed with us or in her bed and usually wakes up and comes to ours, See we just dont mind. To us its not that big of deal. We only have our kids for just a small part of their and our life. So what Im trying to say is there is no right or wrong its whatever is right for you. Hope this helps!

Mandi - posted on 03/09/2009

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My son is now 4 and probably in the last 6months till a year I got him completly back into bed. Watching Supper Nanny on TV was the biggest help for my husband and I. I even have my son watch it with me and then we talk about it.

Rene - posted on 03/09/2009

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do you want your bed back because until your ready it dosnt matter beacuse youll have to put your foot down and put the boy to bed and put him back to bed in the middle of the night and keep doing it till the routine is his bed not yours

Amie - posted on 03/03/2009

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Quoting Jessica:



My oldest son had Cerebral palsy and I guess I just never wanted Jaden to keep his brother awake so I let him fall asleep in our room. But then to much time passed. And now that my oldest son has passed away and I have gotten a devorce and moved a couple hours away from Jadens dad, he feels like he is loosing everyone and its hard with all the changes. I am probly just thinking more than I need to.... Idk.....





I'm so sorry to hear that. This changes the perspective quite a bit too. At first it sounded like he was just always there but with so much upheavel in his young life already, and yours too, it's natural to want to be close to mom all the time.  When my oldest was 4 and my son was born we went through a pretty rough time but nothing like losing a child. I really am so sorry to hear that. I can not imagine how hard that would be.



Their bio dad and I had split up. Before that it wasn't any better, he was a so-so father and a bad partner to me. The kids picked up on this and especially my daughter had a lot of anxiety she held in.  She slept with me during this time. She had her own room and would sleep there for nap time but at night she had to be sleeping next to me and she would cuddle right in. I didn't have the heart to move her because of all she'd been through. It's a really long story but the jist of it I stated earlier. When I met my now fiance a year later and we moved in together she went through it again. It took a lot for her to adjust, she kept waiting for him to do something or for us to leave. It took her almost another  year to adjust before all was well. She's now 8 1/2 and doing great though. Your son it may be the same thing. He has worries, fears, anxiety, etc about all that's happened so far and just wants to be near you, you are his rock. Give it some time and maybe some conseling might help. I know for my daughter it did.

Jessica - posted on 02/27/2009

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My oldest son had Cerebral palsy and I guess I just never wanted Jaden to keep his brother awake so I let him fall asleep in our room. But then to much time passed. And now that my oldest son has passed away and I have gotten a devorce and moved a couple hours away from Jadens dad, he feels like he is loosing everyone and its hard with all the changes. I am probly just thinking more than I need to.... Idk.....

Wendy - posted on 02/27/2009

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my daughter does the same thing and she is only four, but i'm tring to get her to the point of sleeping by herself so that it won't get that far out of control. even my fourteen years old still ask to sleep with me and i tell her no. my advice to you is to let your son know that he is a big boy now, and that big boys need to sleep in thier own beds, and let him know that when he wakes up in the morning that you will be there.

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