Wow...I have a lot to vent...Where to start?!?!?!?

Melissa - posted on 01/13/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hope this doesn't have a certain length I can't go over...



Okay, my husband and I have been a couple for 6 years now however we have been friends for 12 years. We have two daughters, mine is 11 and his is 9. My daughter goes to her fathers every other weekend, his daughter is here every other weekend and a couple of nights during the week. We have been married for 3 years now but living together for 5 years. -K- There is the quick version of the background...



Lets start with my daughter...wow...attitude doesn't even describe it...we are past the looks could kill stage too. I try to chalk it up to hormones but she is going way to far and now I am losing control myself. I get the rolling of the eyes, when I ask her to do something she flat out says I don't want to, the shaking of the head, the stomping off, the slamming of doors...it is like hell!!! I can't say ANTYTHING to her without it starting the attitude, the fighting...I have tried the screaming, the sweet talk, the grounding, the therapist...OMG!!!! I am at my witts end...I don't know how much more of this teenage stage I can deal with. She hates her step dad, her step sister...she believes the world is out to get her...



I feel like I compete with her father who isn't even here. Everything is better there (according to her), life is great. No problems with her dad. I sit back and wonder how it is that I am the one busting my rear end to work 40 hour week job, take her to school, pick her up, go to all her school functions, all her parent teacher conferences, check out all the schools for next year of middle school, all her softball practices and games, doctors appts...everything...he does NONE of it and yet he is my equal in her eyes? HOW?!?!?!?! He isn't a bad father but it takes a lot more than paying child support and taking your kid every other weekend to be a dad...I include him in everything and he wants NO part of anything above and beyond. He has asked me to even stop sending school pictures to his house becuz he has too many (ummmm...doesn't your kid get older and you want updated pics? I don't even ask him to pay for them...dumbass!) Christmas, yeah, lets talk about Christmas for just a minute...every mom wants Christmas morning with their kids, right? Well, I for the past couple of years have offered him Christmas morning so my daughter could spend it with her baby brother that her dad and wife now have (now its adding up huh?) and he refuses to take her becuz it isn't fair to his wife, other child or him to drive and meet me half way and be away from his family. ARE U KIDDING ME?????? Yeah, he is so wonderful...okay, I will get off my soap box about him cuz I can talk about that mess all night long!!!



My step daughter is 9. She is now coming into her own and with that comes the attitude and lying. She is happy when she is here for the fact that at her moms they have nothing, she shares a bedroom with her 4 year old sister and plus there is a brother who is 1. She used to be one of those children that was grateful and happy for everything but not so much anymore. She is turning into a miniture of my daughter...I can't deal with this times two...



Then there is my husband...my darling, sweet pain in the ass husband...I love him dearly but sometimes I just don't know!!!! What were we thinking? He busts his butt for us, working 6-7 days a week to get the bills paid. However, he doesn't help the situation 99% of the time either. When it is both of them he is out in he open in the living room but when it is just my daughter he hides in the bedroom playing video games. God forbid if I did that! He thinks his daughter does no wrong and my is just the most horrible ever (she isn't the best however she does have her good moments and he fails to ever point those out)...I just feel like my daughter doesn't really matter to him enough to vest a lot of time into. He feels cheated that his daughter isn't here as much as mine but why does that mean we have to suffer becuz of that? It shouldn't!



The dogs...dude, I love them to death and won't give them up for anyone. You can take the hubby and kids first however, why is it that I am the only one in this house who can feed a dog, give the dogs water or take the dogs outside? Amazing!!!! But I will be damned, everyone in this house wants to love on them...



There is so much more I could say but my fingers are now tired from typing...hehe!

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5 Comments

View replies by

Melissa - posted on 01/29/2009

18

32

Quoting Melissa:



Quoting Melissa:




Just let me know where & when you post it so I can read all about it!  Have a great day Mel, hope to hear from you!  xxxMel


 



Hi Melissa...Thanks for listening...actually we had a break thru this week.  Not one I was expecting...I am going to post another letter about it explaining everything so everyone can read...I am scared to death but excited all at the same time...hope you read it!!!






 






xoxox  mel






 






 






hi melissa im melissa as well...funny huh?!  well i can feel your anguish bcuz i to have a thorn in my side family. i dont have the step-kids but my "wonderful "other half is step-dad to my 2 oldest and we have 1 together...listen heres my email addy please feel free to send me an email if you need to vent or you just wanna shoot the breeze, i dont mind listening and hey maybe make a new friend, who knows!        xxxx mel








mel_akra@att.net








 








 








 








Quoting Melissa:

I have told him many times what it does to the rest of the family but I don't believe he truely sees it or understands the magnitude of the depth of pain it causes when he does do it. Strike means nothing to him, that just means the housework piles up and doesn't get done. He won't do it, or I should say he will rarely. He does work 6-7 days a week but a little help would be nice...Believe me, I stick up for myself A LOT which causes arguements but I won't be walked on either...












 









 





 

Melissa - posted on 01/24/2009

14

29

Quoting Melissa:





Hi Melissa...Thanks for listening...actually we had a break thru this week.  Not one I was expecting...I am going to post another letter about it explaining everything so everyone can read...I am scared to death but excited all at the same time...hope you read it!!!



 



xoxox  mel



 



 



hi melissa im melissa as well...funny huh?!  well i can feel your anguish bcuz i to have a thorn in my side family. i dont have the step-kids but my "wonderful "other half is step-dad to my 2 oldest and we have 1 together...listen heres my email addy please feel free to send me an email if you need to vent or you just wanna shoot the breeze, i dont mind listening and hey maybe make a new friend, who knows!        xxxx mel






mel_akra@att.net






 






 






 






Quoting Melissa:

I have told him many times what it does to the rest of the family but I don't believe he truely sees it or understands the magnitude of the depth of pain it causes when he does do it. Strike means nothing to him, that just means the housework piles up and doesn't get done. He won't do it, or I should say he will rarely. He does work 6-7 days a week but a little help would be nice...Believe me, I stick up for myself A LOT which causes arguements but I won't be walked on either...









 





 

Melissa - posted on 01/24/2009

18

32



hi melissa im melissa as well...funny huh?!  well i can feel your anguish bcuz i to have a thorn in my side family. i dont have the step-kids but my "wonderful "other half is step-dad to my 2 oldest and we have 1 together...listen heres my email addy please feel free to send me an email if you need to vent or you just wanna shoot the breeze, i dont mind listening and hey maybe make a new friend, who knows!        xxxx mel



mel_akra@att.net



 



 



 



Quoting Melissa:

I have told him many times what it does to the rest of the family but I don't believe he truely sees it or understands the magnitude of the depth of pain it causes when he does do it. Strike means nothing to him, that just means the housework piles up and doesn't get done. He won't do it, or I should say he will rarely. He does work 6-7 days a week but a little help would be nice...Believe me, I stick up for myself A LOT which causes arguements but I won't be walked on either...





 

Melissa - posted on 01/17/2009

14

29

I have told him many times what it does to the rest of the family but I don't believe he truely sees it or understands the magnitude of the depth of pain it causes when he does do it. Strike means nothing to him, that just means the housework piles up and doesn't get done. He won't do it, or I should say he will rarely. He does work 6-7 days a week but a little help would be nice...Believe me, I stick up for myself A LOT which causes arguements but I won't be walked on either...

Rachel - posted on 01/17/2009

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2

First of all I feel your pain! I do not have step kids so I don't know that angle but I do have a dead beat ex-husband and a seriously lazy new one.  I would recommend you first of all go on strike and let your husband feel the pain of all the things you take care of.  I would also recommend the total transformation program.  We bought it for our son and it really worked for us.  Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself and tell your husband exactly what you think about the way he treats your daughter.  It isn't fair and you should tell him so!