1) Xbox live and 2) coed party rules

Karen - posted on 09/30/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have two questions so thought I would try this site. First, wondering at what age you would allow your kids to play xbox live with others they don't know? Second, my daughter is 14 and she and her friend are planning a small Halloween party with boys. I insisted on having it here so I have a chance to meet the boys as I have not yet met them. We have a movie room upstairs and I said couch is for the girls, boys sit elsewhere (there are bean bag chairs). Two of the girls and boys are "couples" and of course think I'm way too strict about the couch. My daughter does not have a boyfriend and cannot date yet but does go to movies, games, etc with her boy and girl friends. Thoughts? What rules would you suggest for a party with 4 girls and 4 boys at 14?

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Karen - posted on 10/01/2013

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Thank you. I did decide to offer the downstairs tv if they want to sit together, knowing I would be hanging around. It helps to hear that both thoughts seem reasonable

For xbox, my son is 17 and has been using xbox live for a few years. He recently said he wants to open it up to play with anyone, not just friends. He is almost an adult,, just hesitant even at his age as it feels like strangers with potentially strong vulgar language being let in my home, even though i cant hear them. I'm thinking as long as he maintains respectful language/attitude it should be ok. I know from experience its easier to maintain rules than to give them freedom then need to take it away if it doesn't go well so being extra cautious.

Sarah - posted on 10/01/2013

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For the xbox live our rule is that it is set-up for a teen....meaning there are parental controls and locks on it. He can play and invite his friends, but he can't play with those he does not know. This also controls who he can hear on the mic. This works very well as he is able to play with his friends, but is also kept safe.

For the party I think your couch and bean bag rule is not a bad one and I see nothing wrong with doing it that way. If you wanted another way you could allow them to sit where ever, but door is left open and you are in and out throughout the night. My son (15 yrs) recently had a campfire with some of his friends after their homecoming dance. They did s'mores and sat around talking and listening to music. My husband and I could see them from the house and would pop out here and there to make sure they did not need more stuff for the s'mores, pop, or the fire. It gave them some privacy, but at the same time we could hear conversations and making sure things were appropriate.

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