Elizabeth - posted on 08/20/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am about to break. I have a 10-week old baby. She is my first and I love her. I went back to work full time when she was 8 weeks old and I started working from home when she was 2 weeks old. Next baby, if I have one, I will absolutely take off 12 weeks before returning to work!
My job is very stressful and it takes a lot out of me. I am lucky to have my mom close by to watch Ella. If it were not for that, I think I would be hairless right now. My husband travels 3 to 4 days a week. He is a sales director so he wines and dines his clients. And he stays out late with dinners, drinks, and sometimes strip clubs ( I hate this but he still does it. Says it is work and he cannot no go...yeah right)!
When he is home he told me he needs "downtime." I about lost my mind on him when he said that. Mind you - he has not been up once in the middle of the night to feed her and in the last 10 weeks I have only left her with him 2 times for 2 hours. And when I came back he could not even remember to do the load of laundry I asked him to do!!
He tells me to tell him what he can do to help. But when I tell him to do something, he usually forgets. So I do not feel like I can actually entrust him to do anything!
I feel soooooooo ALONE! And PISSED off! I am resentful of him.
He says we can get some help, but I am breastfeeding and pumping. I barely get enough milk to give to my mom for when she watches her. Let alone enough for me to go out and do something fun.
Most days I do not even have time to shower before I go to work. I actually wore the same dress two times in a row to work because I didn't have the energy to find something else to wear. Let alone, most of my clothes still do not fit bc I have 15lbs left to lose after having the baby.
I am finding a lot of stories like mine. But no real help. How do I make this work? I love him and I want it to work. I think. Honestly, right now I am not sure how it could work?
I am resentful of my friends who get to stay home from work and go to parks and workout classes and laugh together. So then I do not want to see said friends because I am so envious of them!
What do I do?!?! I need some help!