10 year old father keeps taking me to court

Mechelle - posted on 04/16/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hello Everyone,

I posted earlier this year about my 10 year old daughter(9 at the time) not knowing who her biological father was. My husband has been in her life since she was 2 years old so he was the only man she knew as dad. Well, when my daughter was 2 he took me to court for visitations. The judge gave an order but the father never followed through. Fast forward, my daughter is now 10! Again, we went to court last year in December and met with a mediator. We came up with a resolution to at least get started and our first visit was for her to meet him and I would be there to support her. After breaking the news to her she was really hurt and upset. Her first respond was, "I don't want my dad to be my stepdad". I was really upset with myself and felt as if I failed her as a mom but at the time I thought I was doing what was in her best interest. My daughter stated that she didn't mind meeting him but she wanted her dad(my husband) to be there with her to support her. When I told her bio father that he got upset and said "NO". He called our mediator and tried to get her to side with him but the mediator didn't and said she can't side with anyone but she WILL agree to whatever was in the best interest of our daughter and if having the only man that she has known as her protector be there as support than if he really wanted to be in his daughter's life he should go through with it. The mediator told me to still meet the bio father at the spot that we agreed upon so me, my husband and our daughter when....and he STOOD HER UP!! She was very heartbroken and I was left to pick up the pieces. So KNOW today I received another summons to court for visitations and this time he filed with another court(which is the city in which we live in NOW, the prior court orders was in the city I lived in when our daughter was an infant). The previous court knew about our issues and his failing to follow through with previous orders so they didn't play any games with him. Now I'm nervous because things may be different with this court. I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know if I just need a little encouragement. I don't know if I need someone to tell I was wrong, right....I need to get a lawyer or don't worry about it everything will work out. IDK...I'm just tired and I know I'm wrong but I wish he would just DISAPPEAR!! The daughter's life is fine right now without him. I don't think it's fair that he comes in and turns her life completely upside down.

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Cutemommy - posted on 04/16/2015

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No matter what you have court documentation and I'm sure you can go to the old court and print up all the things you have been to court for and in a calender write down what you went to court for and whether he followed through or not. Standing up a child and especially a young girl that is almost a teen is a really rotten thing to do. He can't call shots at this point. strengthen up your daughter for what is to come and support her. Words of encouragement>>> the fact that he continues to take you to court and is now going to another court doesn't look good on him, it is going to look like he is trying to go around until he gets what he wants, the courts will notice this. Let them know how much pain he caused your daughter when he stood her up and that you want to protect her. also when you go to court let them know he is using the courts to harass you. All of the darkness will come to the light and everyone will see what he is doing. I don't know the guy and I can already tell he is jealous of your husband because he is a stand-up guy. Him not respecting your husband is going to show his immaturity in court stick to your guns and don't let him rattle you and your family.

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Mechelle - posted on 04/17/2015

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Thank you, cutemommy!! All I want to do is make sure my daughter is comfortable and happy. It sucks that he lives will be altered with him coming into her life. She was telling me last night that she doesn't want to have to do the every other weekend thing because that's something she is not use to. However, I try all I can to explain to her that he wants to spend time with her too (even though I believe he has a motive) and if a time comes where she doesn't want to go, just ask him if she could stay home. He is into politics now. Involved in all the community meetings and stuff so I believe he is just trying to clean up his mess. Thank you for encouraging me. Having a blended family is hard, especially my case, having a man entering your child's life after 10 years.

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