10 Year Old Still Bedwetting. :( HELP!

Zoe - posted on 02/26/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My step son who is 10 years old Has always battled bedwetting, But recently he has been doing really well with it, But when he has misbehaved and goes to bed earlier than his bedtime he wets the bed is this defiance or nervousness or is it normal? When he does have an accident he will throw his wet drynight on the floor or he will leave it on his bed and he will lay down in his wet bed and he has also before now puut his pillows over the wet wee patch and layed on them ( Ruining the pillows, He wont clean his bed or change his sheets or wash him self or put his wet Pj;s/bedding in the washing basket without being told to and even then he is very narky about it. I am running out of options to help him to stop doing this The bed wetting i can believe is not difiance but his attitude tawards the fact he has wet the bed strikes me as odd taht he would lay in it and ruin his bed.

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Dove - posted on 02/26/2015

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You are right that bed wetting can still be normal, but the behavior after is definitely odd. Do you or his father make a big deal out of the bed wetting or just treat it matter of factly?

I would first suggest that if he is only wetting the bed when he goes to bed earlier as a consequence of misbehavior.... choose another consequence that does not include an early bedtime and see if that cuts down or cures the issue.

He's certainly old enough to be responsible for taking care of the wet laundry, but doing it in the middle of the night (if that's when he's messing around) is asking a bit much. Maybe he can have clean clothes and a towel (for the wet spot) available in his room in case of an accident to minimize the sleep disturbance... and then he can take care of all the wet laundry in the morning. I'm assuming his mattress is already covered w/ a plastic sheet or plastic table cloth to prevent that from being ruined... since the bed wetting has been an ongoing issue...?

I would also make him 'work off' the cost of anything that he is purposefully ruining (like the pillows... can't they be washed as well?).

If making him responsible and just letting him be does not stop that behavior and you have asked him why he is doing things such as placing his pillows on the wet spot... 'I' would probably seek counseling to have an outside voice in the situation.

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Chana - posted on 02/27/2015

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Although I can understand Dove's thought to ignore it and let him suffer the consequences if you have ever smelled a room soaked with pee it isn't pleasant and it tends to permeate the entire area quickly. I could tell when my daughter's bed was wet before I even got to the room. I do agree that if it continues I would seek counseling for a deeper issue because at 10 it should be coming to and end. There are so many things that it could be from being bullied at school to just not feeling like he fits in and so many things in between.

Dove - posted on 02/27/2015

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I do not think a child at 10 w/ no emotional issues is going to tolerate living in a pee soaked room for long.... so if you just ignore it and let him suffer the natural consequences of not cleaning it up and he DOESN'T start taking responsibility... I would seriously get him into some counseling as I would think there is a deeper issue going on.

Chana - posted on 02/27/2015

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First of all my heart goes out to you because having a child who wets the bed is not a pleasant experience. I know it is can be normal for a girl to wet the bed until she is 6 and a boy until he is 10 only because I asked when my 4 year old daughter, who has been potty trained for 2 years, still wet the bed. Have you tried waking him when you go to bed and making him use the bathroom? That is what they told me to do. I know it sounds mean and I won't do it because I don't want her to be awake and have to deal with that when I am ready for bed. I use Good Nights and we have dry nights and wet ones but she's not 10. Have you talked to the doctor because I think at the age of 10 he should be embarrassed by it and if nothing else clean it up trying to hide it. Just a thought. Good luck

Zoe - posted on 02/27/2015

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Well he knows that when he wakes in a morning that he is to take any wet bedding of his bed and put in the laundry and wash himself ect.. But he chooses not to and would rather leave it and lay in it and use the ''I don't no'' OR ''I forgot'' Excuse's instead. I have no idea why but when i pull him about it he just doesn't say anything he goes quiet and sometimes smirks and i don't think he takes it serious. & No i dont do it i make him do it. Iv told him that if he doesn't start taking care of this as i no he can he will end up smelling and people will notice but he doesn't say anything. :(

Dove - posted on 02/27/2015

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Do YOU take care of the laundry for him if he doesn't? Maybe stop doing that and he'll get sick of smelling pee all the time.... Just a thought. ;)

Zoe - posted on 02/27/2015

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We don't make a big deal about him bed wetting as we have seen a doctor about it and we know that he can't help it, But its the after care that he just isn't interested in doing that is frustrating us, I have asked him what he thinks he should do if he has had an accident and i keep asking him just to make sure and he knows full well what he should do. He just doesn't do it and when i ask him why he doesnt do it he just says '' I forgot '' Or '' I Don't No ''. I have taken him to the doctors and he is waiting for referral to see a paediatrician to see if we can get some help that way with the bed wetting its self but i just don't no what to do about him with what he should do after he has had an accident.

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