11 year old girls birthday just turning 12

Trinity - posted on 02/20/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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can you help me plan 11 year old girl's birthday

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SHE CRYING SHE WON'T TALK TO ME

SHE WANTED TO HAVE A HOTEL PARTY BUT I CAN'T CHAPERON I DON'T HAVE A CAR

SHE THINKS I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER SHE IS SO GROUNDED

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Angelica Ashbrook - posted on 02/20/2015

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Seriously, you grounded her? Oh my gosh, she's already upset. She's probably trying to keep up with what her school friends do for parties. You not having a car shouldn't be the problem. What is your budget? is it possible to turn your home into a hotel? Get a couple of your friends to dress up as a butler, chef and waiter and serve posh food or an afternoon tea with a selection of cakes. Organise a film marathon with a midnight feast and sleepover.
Please just go back up those stairs and un-ground her before she gets any more distressed. Tell her that it may be difficult as you have no car, though I don't get what that actually means. If you can afford a hotel, ask the other parents to get their children there and perhaps take a lift.

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Dove - posted on 02/20/2015

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Why would you ground your daughter for being upset and thinking you don't care about her? That isn't logical....

Give her 2-3 options of what you CAN handle/afford (like pizza and a sleepover, taking 1-2 good friends on a movie date, etc...) and let her choose. If she doesn't like any of the options you can just do family and cake at home.

I understand things are difficult if you don't have a car, but you have to be able to get around somehow... right? You don't have to cater to her wants if it is not possible, but I'm sure there is SOMETHING you can do that she would appreciate.

10-12 is hormonally a rough time for girls, so don't take her feelings personal. Just acknowledge that she is upset and allow her some 'chill out' time in her room to listen to music, draw, read... whatever she likes to do that can relax and calm her.

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