11 year old ---hormonal---how should I know when to discipline

Deanna - posted on 07/18/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hannah is 11. She is an emotional basket case :-( I really feel bad disciplining her sometimes because I know how harsh hormones can make you lash out when it's about that time of the month. She is my first of four girls. I want to be the best Mum I can! Anyone else find it difficult to know the difference between direct defiance and hormonal imbalance due to puberty onset? Thanks!

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Jodi - posted on 07/19/2013

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But that still doesn't make the behaviour acceptable. Yes, you need to be patient, but patience doesn't equal don't provide consequences for the behaviour.

Jodi - posted on 07/18/2013

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Hormones are not an excuse for poor behaviour. Yes, hormones can make you do or say things you don't mean BUT they are not an excuse for doing that. If your daughter is defiant and lashing out due to hormones, she needs to be disciplined. How else is she going to learn that despite how she feels, taking that out on others isn't acceptable. She won't be able to do that in the workplace as an adult. She needs to learn to control her outbursts regardless of the situation - it is a skill to be mastered. So basically, if her behaviour is not appropriate, she needs to be disciplined accordingly.

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Deanna - posted on 07/19/2013

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She is fine school and with other adults when I am not around :-( In fact, she is very nurturing. Several of the ladies from our church ask to borrow her because she is very helpful to them. Just sad that she isn't like that to her Mum or sisters. I am sort of lost. My husband says be patient with myself and her.

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