Amber - posted on 04/28/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
My 13 year old daughter has always been a really good kid. Was not "boy crazy". She always has gotten all her homework done, rarely needs help, gets herself up daily for school and is a fun sweet sometimes overly nice girl. Also gets a's. She just started junior high 7-12 in our school) in sept. She's not particularly sporty, but has done cheer from the time she was in 4th grade and loves it. Unfortunately their HS does not have a cheer program, in fact many faculty and staff demean it, put it down, and say it's not a real sport to her all the time.
In November a new boy started at her school in her grade. He latched onto her instantly as she is very open and accepting, and not judgy. She was "dating" another boy in her grade and by dating I mean talking to him while they play Xbox and they went in a group to a movie.
Now this boyfriend broke up with her and I think what hurt the most is because he told everyone after that she was so annoying and made her look bad in front of other friends/classmates. I know this hurt her more than she let on.
Now this new boy jumped in and they started chatting via FB. He called her his "bestie" right away and she liked that.
She talked about him quite a bit and in March he finally got an iPhone. They started texting and the conversations got more intense.
He asked her out and she'd say how she sorta wanted to, but didn't want to lose what they had as friends. He'd say ok, then ask again later that day, and again the next.
All his questions to her are quite passive, like " you wouldn't want to, would u?"
When she kept saying she wanted to stay besties he would agree with her, but then bring it up again. Once she agreed to go out with him things got bad. They started talking about how his dad is in jail for drugs and domestic violence. He told her that he witnessed his father beating his mother, them both doing drugs, and his mother taking a knife to her throat threatening to kill herself. Now he also constantly is down, negative....something is always wrong and my daughter is the only one that can fix it! He's threatened to kill himself multiple times. He tells her she is the only good thing in his life and like if she asks things like " what's ur favorite memory?" He will say " the day I met u".
He asked her " what are your weaknesses? ". She said Spanish, social studies, friends sometimes. He said " mines a gun".
He asks her why she thinks she's far and how much she weighs.
He told her this weird story where he was attacked by a bear and was prob not going to make it and his mom would tell her if he didn't that he loves her...
He got her to start holding hands, then hugs, then kissed her by her locker.
My daughter likes the idea of a boyfriend who tells her all these wonderful things about herself, like how beautiful she is, smart, etc, and he won't leave or breakup with her so he's safe in a way, but she's also now responsible for his happiness and his life!
He manipulates her by saying, " well I want to do something, but I'm afraid. She'd ask what, he won't say, she begs him to say, he says " well u prob wouldn't want to" and always puts himself down. She's constantly forced to build him back up and reassure him daily, more than once a day!
It's beginning to wear her down and she's getting more depressed.
All her friends hate him and make fun of her for picking him.
I don't know what to do anymore.
They are in ever class together and its like a drug. The school won't help..
What do I do?