13 yr old boy has changed!!!

Frances - posted on 02/27/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have a 13 yr old boy named codie. He has done complete 360 in the past 6 months, to the point that he cares about nothing! he is rude to people gets suspened and back talks adults including me and finace. what can i do PLEASE HELP????

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Michelle - posted on 02/28/2013

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Have you had him in grief counseling? Losing people close to you during your teenage years can have a huge effect!!!! Maybe hes acting out because he's angry he didn't get to say goodbye to his step father.

From what you have written this screams out as the reason so you need to get him to someone he can open up to. He's hurting so much inside and this is the only way he knows how to deal with it.

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Kristi - posted on 02/28/2013

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I absolutely agree with Michelle. I would definitely get him a counselor ASAP. This could go from bad to worse rapidly if he does not learn how to effectively handle his anger and is unable to go through the entire grieving process. You should also go with him and learn how to handle his outburts and behavioral issues.

He needs support and understanding but his behavior is unacceptable and he needs to be held accountable. The counselor can best tell you how to do that without making matters worse, which you could then communicate with his teachers. If they are kept in the loop and are aware of the special circumstances, they are usually very happy to do whatever they can to help.

Frances - posted on 02/28/2013

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I have tryed to talk to him and all i get is whatever, i dnt care or a roll of the eyes! he has had 2 deaths in our family and was very close to them the first one was his paw paw, and the second was his step father he was able to go to his paw paws funeral but could not attend his step fathers because it was out of town. as far as the bullying i find him being the bully! And he talks to his teachers ina way he should not like telling his teacher he want her body. I do not talk like that in front of him. and as far as friends he does hang out with a lil boy down the street and when he gets around him he treats everyone diffrent including his lil girl friend (which is his first girl friend). i have talked to the teachers and they say that he is very disrespectful. He has been suspened fro back talking calling his teacher a bitch, and kicked off the school bus several times! Im at my wits end. I think i need to take him to therapy or something. I have a 16 yr old daughter and another boy that is 15 they have tryed talking to him but he does not care to hear anyting they have to say!

Kristi - posted on 02/28/2013

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Was it a gradual change or did it seem to happen pretty quickly? Michelle has a good point in that there may be a specific event that triggered this behavior.

Does he really not care about anything or is he just (not just like it's no big deal) being kind of rude and lazy and ignoring the family? What kind of consequences have you been giving him so far?

Have you talked with his teachers? What have they said or noticed? Are his grades dropping, as well? What is he getting suspended for? Do you know if he might be being bullied?

Who does he hang out with? Has he changed his circle of friends or has he withdrawn from his social circle? What is he doing in his spare time? Do you have any reason to suspect drug use? What about a girlfriend, problems with her or even possibly struggling with his sexuality?

I'm sorry for all the questions but it is hard to offer helpful advice without more specific information. He could just be acting like a normal teen who needs a little reminder about whose boss or there could be something deeper going on. Plus, we don't know what you've already tried and it would be pointless for us to give you advice that you already know isn't working. Of course, you don't have to share anything you don't want to. Maybe some of these questions will just give you something to look into yourselves and you'll find the answers you are looking for.

Michelle - posted on 02/27/2013

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Welcome to the teenage years!!!

On the serious side, have you talked to him to see if there is anything bothering him? I'm meaning more listening on your part and him talking.

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