13 yr old boy's tantrum in retail store included grabbing my arm

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I - posted on 01/30/2014

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Thank you for the input. I would agree about the mental assessment except that my husb is excessive in his leniency. Our son has his own bank card attached to my husband's personal account. He is not required to earn anything, husband indulges nearly every whim including typical junk food etc. Husb openly (often) "sides with" 13 yr old rather than & does it in his presence. Little things like not making him brush his teeth or hair. When son gets "teen ager like" instead of normal disipline like sending to his room, husband says do anything you want I do not like "confrontation". Husb often says he had nothing as a kid & his kid won't experience that.

Jodi - posted on 01/30/2014

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While I don't agree that your husband appears to be disciplining properly, I actually agree with him that it appears to be a mental problem. In my experience (I am a high school teacher), a 13 year old does not throw tantrums like this - the only ones I have seen who do are often ADHD, or on the spectrum (whether formally diagnosed or not). If this is a one off, then I'd wait and see, but if it is happening frequently, then I think a visit to a doctor is in order. Tantrums/disagreements are normal for teens, but a tantrum in public, including physically grabbing at your arm just doesn't seem normal and I'd be concerned. I don't see it as a discipline issue (if he were 7 or 8 it might be, but not for a normal 13 year old).

I - posted on 01/30/2014

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He has never been dx with anything and has never done this before. He can normally hold his temper or release it in a standard "teen " way, but every month or two he "loses it". My husband & I disagree on nearly every aspect of discipline. I believe in dealing with an issue. Husband is pushover & spoiler. I have tried taking things (ipod, computer, etc) as discipline then an hour later husband says he's been good for an hour so I am giving it back. I am at wits end. Now husb has decided this must be a mental problem & completely dismisses the possibility it may be a parenting problem. Meantime, kid is getting out of control. HELP PLEASE

Jodi - posted on 01/30/2014

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Is your 13 year old a regular 13 year old? This does not sound like normal 13 year old boy behaviour and indicates to me that there is something else you have told us. For instance, is he on the autism spectrum? Or is this an incident that just happened out of the blue?

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