13 yr old daughters- are they always moody and argumentative about everything?

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Krista - posted on 08/06/2011

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Yes. :) Think about hormonal and moody we get when we're pregnant. What teenage girls are going through is about 10 times that. Plus, they're trying to assert their independence. It's natural and normal. They usually start resembling human beings again once they hit around 17 or so. Until then, keep a good stash of wine on hand for yourself, and remember that this too, shall pass.

Jane - posted on 08/08/2011

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We always say that all teenagers are naturally bipolar (my son is bipolar, so we describe him as having been born a teenager).

She is as tall as you are and has what seems to her to be an adult body, but she still has an immature brain that is now being bathed in waves of hormones so she can't think straight most of the time. It will get better.

The thing I found was the most important was to keep on talking with her (not to her). Make sure to set aside some time when it is just you and her, possibly in the car or involved in some activity, so she feels she can talk to you. Listen to what she says and focus on the good characteristics she shows.

In the meantime, bite your tongue, enforce the rules, cultivate patience, thank her when she does something good, and tell her you love her. A glass of wine after she has gone to bed doesn't hurt.

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Um, Yes. My daughter is now 17 but what helps is actually listening to them and tryng to help them formulate what they really want in their lives. Communication and honesty is key but that starts at birth . A book I found helpful for her was Gurls.com! Check it out. Read it too.

Tita - posted on 08/08/2011

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I think this is the age where they discover themselves to be in the early adolescense and would like to express themselves freely. When we do not understand them, they become frustrated and thus the moods come. Just be patient with them. I still believe Mommy will always be their best friend.

Jodi - posted on 08/06/2011

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Krista's idea is good. A good stash of wine. And a lot of patience (although some quality chocolate with that wine will help too). I have a 13 year old son and he's not too bad in the grand scheme of things. He has his attitude moments, but they don't last long when his attitude earns him no favours (sorry, you want me to take you where??? Um, I don't THINK so; If you want to be treated like a growing young man rather than a child, I need you to start acting like one).



But I have friends with 12,13,14 year old daughters and I see the nightmare I will be facing in about 6 years, LOL. I do have a 19 year old step-daughter, and she never lived with us, but visited every other weekend, so we didn't get the HUGE attitude, but we did see that selfish *me, me, me* side of her, and I am pleased to report she outgrew that at about 16. She is now a truly delightful 19 year old.

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Lisa - posted on 04/22/2013

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This is very helpful!!! Teenage year's are very tough. I went through this with my now 18 year old daughter. ( thought she hated me) but, for some reason it seems to me that it's worse now with my 13 year old daughter. I thought I was alone in this matter. I hate feeling like my own child who worshiped the ground I walked on now can't stand me. Seems the only time she is pleasant is when she wants something . I feel like I became an idiot that can't find her way out of a paper bag to my daughter the day she turned 13. Some days I feel like I am gonna loose my sanity. Thanks for the encouragement!! I thought I was doing something wrong...

Patsy - posted on 08/08/2011

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Thanks so much for your feedback and book suggestion. I look forward to finding it and reading it. You moms rock!

Patsy - posted on 08/08/2011

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Thanks Jodi for weighing in on this post. It is so good to know that it is normal and that it does not last forever. I am working hard to not run our home like a boot camp and to sometimes just refrain from entertaining some of the moodiness at all. She is growing into a nice young lady, but these speed bumps can sometmes be very frustrating as her mommy.... LOL

Patsy - posted on 08/06/2011

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Thanks Krista. I got the wine and I was hopeful the person currently residing here might someday resemble my sweet pea from yesteryears.

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