14 year old refuses to go to school after moving to a new state.

Deborah - posted on 12/08/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




After living all his life in one town 30 minutes from his grandparents farm 14-year-old is having a difficult time moving to a new state and going to a new school. After attending school for about a month 14-year-old refuses to go to school. We are living in an apartment with most of our furniture back in our old house. Son refused to go to counseling. He jumped out of the car when we were on our way. Eventually he did go to counseling. We gave him the choice of moving back and living with his grandparents. He decided to do that but he would have to go to new school anyway and eventually he stopped going to that school also. Now were at a point where we don't know what to do. We are going to go down and pick him up and bring him back to live with us. But should we put him in a new school or should we homeschool him or something else along with counseling? This is a child who used to love to go to school. He was a good student. Smart.


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Michelle - posted on 12/08/2014




Change is always difficult and can be quite daunting. Have you talked to him about why he suddenly didn't want to go to school(s) anymore? Counseling is helpful but you also need to communicate with him and decide how you are all going to adjust to the change. Validate his feelings of missing his old friends and teachers, his grandparents, etc... as well as his feelings of possibly not liking his new school or the teachers, etc... But change doesn't always have to be bad...

Good luck!

Ev - posted on 12/08/2014




When you first enrolled him in the new school before sending him back to his grandparents, was he having any issues being the new kid? Its not easy being the new kid and sometimes the other kids will pick on you. Did you even ask? WHen his grandparents had him, were there issues going on like him being bullied or such? You need to get to the bottom of what is going on before you can move forward. Changes in life for a teen are hard but they should be able to understand that it happens and why. He can not just stay home from school. And homeschooling may not be the answer either if he decides he won't do the work. You need to be seeking out the trigger of this behavior.

Jodi - posted on 12/08/2014




Have you actually had a discussion with him about why he doesn't want to go to school?

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