14 yr old daughter to visit with father 330 miles apart due to a court order that now she will miss her sports and camps and other school functions

Diane - posted on 05/05/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Daughter lives with me and have full and legal custody but court wants father to work with relationship with daughter that she does not want to due to him being an alcoholic, 2 pack a day cigerette smoker , lies and does not live in a very safe area that she lives in with me. She is threatening to run away if she would have to viist him in New York. I have already petitioned a motion for reconsideration nd my daughter wrote a letter now to the judge. I was not represented properly by last attorney and lost my son to the father. Its a mess. What do I do if daughter refuses to get out of car to go with dad?

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Ev - posted on 05/05/2013

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You need to call another lawyer and see what age the kids can start to decide to go on visitation or not. Where I live they can be 14 or 15 and refuse to go. My friend's kids have done this at those ages. But you have to check the laws in YOUR STATE.

Diane - posted on 05/05/2013

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THank you Evelyn. I live in PA and I am just worried that the father in NY is so vengeful against me for some reason that he told my daughter that he didn't even care, but then changed his mind to a later time still conflicting with my daughters swimming. My son is now living there with his choice because he has it easier, failing grades, IQ of 130, broken jaw in school from another kid, 20 punds underweight, starting to swear and be disrespectful and now has become alientated towards me and his sister due to the father not answering phone or cell. My son is addicted to his X Box, has Add, ODD, and very mild case of Aspergers. Father has him on an antispsychotic medication against my judgement being a nurse but the judge didn't say anything about this or a lot of what my daughters testimony and mine were. I was represented badly by an young attorney and got crushed my his negligence and lack of questioning my ex. It's just a mess and the people hurting are the children and me emotionally too. Could I get in trouble if my daughter refuses to get out of the car and go with her dad even with a court order and if she would run away from his house llike she wrote to the judge yesterday and also told her father last week?

Ev - posted on 05/05/2013

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If you both have sent letters and filed for a reconsideration with the courts that is all that you can do. You might also mention that she has her sports camps and what not during the summer as well and if you have paid the fees for her to attend them then that should also be made aware to the judge as well. Also you need proof that he lives in a poor, unsafe place in the city, that he has problems with alcohol, and I know in some states its against the law to smoke around children under certain ages.

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