14yr old daughter is being ditched by her friends. Help!

Jennifer9 - posted on 09/10/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )




Hello...new to the board but need some sound advice.
My daughter met a new seemingly wonderful group of 4 girlfriends in grade 7 at a new
school in which these 4 came from a previous elementary school together, where-as my daughter
came from a different elementary school.
Here are the dynamics of the other group:
They consist of 2 pairs of "best friends" and refer to themselves constantly as "best friends".
My daughter was more or less an add on to their "best friends" group during grade 7 & 8.
Most of the time the 5 girls would be together, but things got bad this summer.
They all seemed to hit it off well during grades 7 & 8.
(They are now 5 school days into grade 9.)
One of the things that my daughter had in common with one of the 4 girls was a minor playful shared passion for a famous male singer.
This girl's mother drives this her to see this singer each and every time he comes to a city 4 hrs away from where we live. This summer the singer was in the city 6 times for various meet and greets, concert openers, a free concert, etc. The mother equally regularly tweets about this singer on her own account (which I find a little odd, anyhoo...)
So my daughter's shared love for this singer was not really to the extent as the other girl, but none-the-less it was something they had in common.
So this summer 3 girls of the 4 were going to see this singer in concert.
I happened to surprise my daughter with a pair of tickets so I could take her. At the same time,
my daughter happened to win a ticket to a television show which was hosting the singer the day after the concert.
This is when the nightmare began.
My daughter is a very happy go lucky child. She of course was excited to win a ticket...but the best-friend of the girl who is obsessed with the singer started being rude to my daughter after the concert...my daughter came home all happy and changed her Twitter bio to say "I touched (singer's) muscles!"...then this best friend of the obsessed girl starts saying things to my daughter like "You think you're Kylie Jenner, but really you're a retarded kid from a small town who lives in a shit apartment with no dad." "Go f*ck yourself."

I'm a supply teacher. My daughter's father has not been a part of her life since she was a young child. We live in an adorable apartment (unlike the large beautiful home the girl (who commented the above) lives in. These girls get to go on lavish trips, etc. While great for them, we don't have that luxury at the moment to have that type of lifestyle.

My daughter basically responded with "My family loves me and that's all that matters."

Fast forward to the first 5 days of grade 9. My daughter tried sitting with the girls at lunchtime and joking around with them like nothing had happened...and all seemed well until my daughter realized she was excluded over the weekend. They constantly post photos of them hanging out and writing "Best Friends for Life" all over social media. The girls attended concerts etc together without my daughter after the fight.

Today, one girl pushed another girl into my daughter (they're at an all girls school) and one of them commented to her to stop farting. (Gotta love grade 9 immaturity.)
My daughter replied "What the hell?!"

She's been sitting with other girls today and yesterday at lunch but says other girls aren't as fun, etc...and that now she hates going to school and doesn't want to go.
So my daughter comes home and I tell her to delete and block the 4 girls from all social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & SnapChat.

(It's bothering me more than I think it's bothering her. When we were kids a fight was left at school or at the park. Now it continues for days, weeks, months online.) She's stuck in classes with these girls and is only in grade 9 with 4 years ahead...the other high school isn't the greatest and this is her best option for academic success.
I'm going to add this in...just for you to have an idea of the situation. Although I've raised my daughter to understand compassion and empathy. The 2 girls causing most of the problems are very overweight girls with bitter personalities. My daughter is a happy, athletic type of kid.)

Advice moms?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms