15 and pregnant

Rocz1128 - posted on 07/07/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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15 yr old daughter 3 months pregnant by 16 yr old boy. I let the boy move in because his grandparents kicked him out. Trying to teach a little responsibility I told them that they would have to pay a hundred dollars a month in rent and get jobs. So now they both want to move out. My thinks that now she is pregnant that she doesn't have to listen to are rules. She saids that she pregnant and that means we can't tell her what to do. What should I do? It's hard to just let her go. And is that the right and or best thing to do just let her go.

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Ronda Nicole - posted on 07/07/2014

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I am sure it is very hard. I would see if she can get on WIC. I know some states she will be able to you just have to see what the rules for your state is cause I know when my cousins daughter had a baby at 17 they wouldn't let her get on WIC cause she lived with her mom. I would just try getting her all the help you can get her. Try seeing if she can get on state insurance since she is pregnant. That will help out alot. Hopefully they will see they have it good with you guys and decide to stay with you and Finnish school along with getting a job

Rocz1128 - posted on 07/07/2014

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Thank you all. I'm having a hard time with her and on top of that my 16 yr old son said if I let her leave then he wants to leave to because I wanted let him quit school. I have 4 kids a 16 son, 15, 11, 7 daughters and now my 15 yr old daughters, 16 yr old boyfriend with baby on the in 6 months. My husband and are struggling financially has it is without 2 more children to care for. The situation that my daughter has put us in has been hard on the whole family.

Ronda Nicole - posted on 07/07/2014

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You know sometimes you have to let them learn on their own. Its hard as parents to watch our kids make mistakes. We always want to be there for them and now that she is pregnant you really want to be there but the best thing you can do is let them make their own mistakes. Try guiding them the best you can but let them know that if they move out they will have to get jobs and pay even more for a apartment then just the 100 in rent you were going to charge. Then there is all the stuff the baby will need, plus they still need their schooling. Maybe sit down with them and start looking through at prices for apartments and show them what things are going to cost and then ask them if they still want to move out. Let them know you will always be there to help them out but they are going to have a baby to raise and its not going to be easy and if they do move out its just going to make it that much harder on them.

Tracey - posted on 07/07/2014

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This world is materialistic, our children are materialistic, selfish, and many feel society owes them. I know because I have five children, ages 7-15 and my oldest has friends who really seem to have it all, but that is when I told my son that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, in fact, they often use a heck of a lot more fertilizer to make it seem that way! I had a sister who was 15 and pregnant. I remember her not wanting to listen to my parents, for if she had, she would not have made that mistake, and that is what they are when children are young, I don't call a child an unfortunate mistake, but I refer to the unfortunate mistake of a young girl emotionally invested into some guy- that guy, and because she is, she makes the mistake and allows herself to engage in activities that are not healthy, not right, and not mature. How can they be mature when they are so young? Yet, girls like my sister and your daughter may be a little head strong, may want to try things, and may wind up still a child expecting a child. $100.00 is nothing, trying to move out at this age, with no job, no education (higher education) and probaly no driver's license, how is she going to manage? Unlike my sister who was more than comfortable and appreciative to have our parents, your daughter is looking at having the system- other tax dollars to help her. Of course she can get WIC (Women's, Infant's, and Children's Fund) this gives pregnant women foods like milk, eggs, cheese, rice, and peanut butter, but how far do you think that will go? Right now your daughter is expressing her emotions, a lot is going on with her right now. Unfortunately, she will have a very disappointing, or a very trying life without you, but allow her to test the waters, sometimes baby birds want to fly, so the mother assist them- she helps them and watches them spread their wings, but in many cases, even with the ridicule, the backtalk, and the emotionally charged arguments, she may try to stretch her wings and may even try to fly, but when she does she won't go far, and if she falls, you being the parent have to let her stand back up, dust off her knees, and come back to you when her ego is bruised, and her pocket empty. Be there when you don't think she wants you. Remember this- something my mom told me, " A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life, a son is a son until he takes a wife". I feel she'll come back but in the final hour when she has to experience the pain of birthing a child, she will want her biggest cheerleader, you-her mother.

Best of wishes and stay strong. Tracey

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