15 months

Marcie - posted on 08/09/2013 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone... My son is 15 months old and seems to be in the "whine until you he gets his way" phase! Any suggestions on how to break this ? My husband and I (often) get to the point of frustration and we both really don't want to have " that kid" that gets everything they want. HELP!!!

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Delana - posted on 08/12/2013

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I have an 18m old who tends to do the exact same thing. I have tried several things and the thing as of lately that seems to be working.. is the "are you a big boy or a baby?" He has a 5m old sister, so I tell him "big boys don't act like that, are you a big boy or a baby?" "Sister can cry when she wants a bottle because that's all she knows how to do, you on the other hand can't because you know to ask for something and wait until it can be given to you." He seems to be getting the concept. He is very spoiled by the way, so it doesn't help to have to tell him no. (because I hate saying those words to him) But it's a process. It is and has been very rough dealing with it, so I wish you the best of luck, just keep trying new things. Something will eventually stick. Good luck!

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Brittany M. - posted on 08/12/2013

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Ignore it if he sees that you respond and how you do hell do it because he knows how your going to respond. Ask "are you a big boy?" When he says yes say "then act like it, your jot right now." If he has a favorite toy take it and be like you want your toy I want a big boy he may fight at first once he realizes its gone hl stop. And then just ask him if he likes acting like that and if he likes getting his toys takin away hell say no to both say I don't like taking them away so don't act like that and you can keep your toys. My little girl went thru the same thing and once she seen I was taking her baby away or her favorite stuffed animal she cried for a few and then said mommy I want my baby. I went with I want a big girl it took me 3-4 weeks to break her.

Shonda - posted on 08/11/2013

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Oh yeah, he'll grow out of it as long as you keep doing what you're doing. I wish you luck. Raising kids is most certainly the hardest job there is!

Shonda - posted on 08/11/2013

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You may be right about the "control". My oldest started refusing to eat things she had always eaten when she was about 5. I think she was trying to have some control over what went on throughout the day.

I think most people want what they want and they want it right now. Teaching patience to a 15 month old is hard, but it's do-able. Actually, games such as Red Light, Green Light and Duck, Duck Goose teach young kids patience.
You are on the right track teaching him that if he just waits, mommy will do exactly as she promised. You might try using one word or a phrase consistently when you need him to wait on something. Well, the word "wait" probably works best.

Shonda - posted on 08/11/2013

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Oh I remember this phase. I know that it's very hard not to give in just to get them to be quiet. And sometimes, depending on the situation, that's basically what you have to do.
But whenever it's possible you should try other things such as:

- Leave the store, business, or establishment where you are without making a purchase. If you are both with him, one of you can take him to the car while the other finishes up.
- Distract him with conversation (try not to distract using toys or something that may be seen as a reward to him). Start talking about something he really likes and ask him questions so that he has to stop whining and answer you.
- Walk away. Move to another room of the house and begin a different activity (dishes, sweeping, dusting, etc.) Sometimes kids will even want to help dust or sweep.
- Carry him to his room, sit him on his bed and tell him he can re-join you once he is done whining.
- Sing out loud. Singing a song he enjoys usually works best.

I have a 6 and a 10 yr. old that help out when their 2 yr. old cousin is whining or throwing a fit about something by doing or saying something they know he thinks is funny. He has to stop whining to laugh.

Good luck!

Danicia - posted on 08/10/2013

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when our daughter started that phase she was given to the count of three to cease the whining. if she chose to continue (and she did) we would walk her to her room, sit her on her bed, and tell her she can come out when she is done whining b/c she is not getting whatever it was she wanted. we left the door open so she could follow us right out (if she was still whining we would walk her back to her room until she stopped) but after a handful of times she realized that the whining would not get her what she wanted. she's almost 2 now and we still have to do the routine sometimes but usually warn her she's going to go to her room if she continues or I count to 2 and she stops. be consistent and he will learn whining isn't going to get his desired result.

Jenna Paige - posted on 08/10/2013

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Try not doing it if she whines so much say stop I know he's that young but...my daughter when he was 15 months old she's 15 now but she used to whine and cry and moan omg I was driven nuts so I didn't do it snymore

Marcie - posted on 08/09/2013

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That is the truth! He wants to see everything and just doesn't want to wait! I am currently trying VERY hard to say " you can have ...after you finish eating. " or " as soon as we get home you can have ..." Hoping that he will figure out, mommy isn't lying and he learns , he can't have everything this second! Problem is ... It's so much easier to give in than listen to him whine! Oh the like of a parent...

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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LOL, stick to your guns - he can wait until he's finished eating or until you have finished driving to wherever you are going if that's all it is. At this age the world is such an interesting place they want to explore everything, and their patience is non-existent.

Marcie - posted on 08/09/2013

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It's usually while I am feeding him... He points and wants something on the floor or on the table or ??? Or sometimes it's while we are in the car and he wants a book on the floor or ??? I feel like he almost does it to see if he can get "control" ! Thankfully , most of the time I don't give in ...

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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What is he whining at you about, though? Sometimes that makes a difference.

Marcie - posted on 08/09/2013

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UGH... Lol- tomorrow my ear plugs will go in and I WILL NOT GiVE IN!!!! Thank you for your help.

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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Eventually they get the message. But you need to be consistent. It is that 1 time out of 10 that makes it worth it for him to whine at you.

Marcie - posted on 08/09/2013

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Thanks Jodi- we (for the most part ) DO actually ignore the whining! There are just some days where I don't have the patience or energy to ignore it! I know I /we have to but IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! Please tell me, he will grow out of this phase soon! (And yes 9 out of 10 times we do ignore it)

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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Stop giving in to him? That works :) You need to learn to ignore the whining. The only reason he keeps whining is BECAUSE you keep giving in to him.

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