15 Year Old Computer Addicted Stepson!

Angela - posted on 09/29/2016 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Whoa! I think the heading pretty much sums my challenge up ..... rude, disrespectful, angry teenager. So can I assume the computer games are the problem here?

x Ange

13 Comments

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Angela - posted on 10/14/2016

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Hi Socalpoppy, the psychologist has spoken to Dad and says in her career she has never seen such a bad case of "introvert" behaviour as we have here plus a lot of anger issues. She thinks (still has to confirm with more sessions) that he is wanting some sort of acknowledgement from his friends and he is not getting it. He is set on becoming a forensic anthropologist (very clever child!) so for now we are leaving it at that. His excuse for not being sociable is that he doesn't have to speak to dead people in his career so why now? It's going to be a long road but one that is necessary.

Socalpoppy - posted on 10/13/2016

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Oh, Angela, so sorry to hear that he is doing worse. I hope that the psychologist is able to get stepson to understand that he is on your stepson's "side". I think professional help is best in this situation.
One thing that has crossed my mind is for someone to talk to him about what he wants for his future. What does he think he'd like to do? If he loves gaming, maybe he would enjoy learning how to code (computer programming). Learning how to code to make games will translate well to being able to code for a lot of different applications.

Angela - posted on 10/10/2016

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Thank you Socalpoppy but nope it seems to have gotten worse ... he has completely rebelled and refuses to do any school sports (a summer and winter sport is compulsory), he says he will just play games on his phone or sleep! I think we have a much bigger problem here than we anticipated. Dad is arranging a psychologist this morning, our child says he refuses to talk to the psychologist. His mother is not really interested in getting involved, she refuses to discipline him, her reasoning being that he is too much of a sensitive child.

Socalpoppy - posted on 10/07/2016

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I'm glad you posted an update. I hope that he finds some other enjoyable activities while he is "grounded" from the laptop. It does sound like the behavior issues are more than just gaming addiction. I hope his school counselor can be a good help to him.

Angela - posted on 10/03/2016

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Dad had a chat to both of them this weekend, and my stepson has admitted that he is addicted to his gaming. The laptop is away for a very long time now, and frankly I am at a point where I have taken 10 steps backwards.

Sarah - posted on 09/30/2016

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I have a 14 yo son who loves his computer way too much. It is the first thing he loses when disciplined. Counseling may be a good outlet for him if he is struggling to adjust to the new family dynamic. Struggling or not, pitching a fit in public at 15 is not appropriate and dad should have handing down some stiff consequences.

Angela - posted on 09/30/2016

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No, we don't know .. all we see is him acting out and rebelling. He sees his mother every 2 weeks and every second holiday. They (18 year old step daughter as well) chose to live with Dad, but there is a very good relationship between the 3 "parents".

Michelle - posted on 09/30/2016

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Like I said, we don't know what is going through that teenage head of his.
We don't know how the divorce affected him.
Does he see his Mother? What is the care arrangements?

Angela - posted on 09/30/2016

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Michelle .... Dad has tried to talk to him, even taking him away on a father/son weekend which was great in the beginning but now he is so so angry that Dad can't say or ask anything without an outburst, so he just stops. I do agree that he may be screaming for attention, but when we give it to him he runs from it. He is seeing the school counsellor (made the second appointment on his own) so that is a good sign, but seems to be angrier since those sessions. Do you also not think there are issues from way back to the divorce and Dad remarrying?

Michelle - posted on 09/30/2016

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It does sound like there are other issues. Have Dad sat down with him and just talked about things? Has Dad actually listened to what his son has had to say?
I say Dad because you are not his Bio Mother and it would be better coming from his Bio parent.
It may even be a good idea to get him into counseling. None of us know what is going on in is life, you are closer there but obviously don't know either.
I suggest opening up the conversations with him, maybe he is screaming for attention.

Angela - posted on 09/30/2016

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We had another incident last night when he refused to come to a school function because he wanted to "watch" his friends play computer games. He threw a massive tantrum (I thought only girls did that) in the boarding establishment entrance and screamed at me that I can take his laptop away but I will never take his life away .... this in front of about 12 other school children. I believe there is a deeper issue here and he doesn't want to face it hence the reason he hides behind his gaming addiction. Now that we have taken the laptop away permanently he is panicking and lashing out.

Jodi - posted on 09/29/2016

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Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to know because all teens are different. He may be just being rude and disrespectful. It could be he's not handling the hormone surge he is experiencing at the moment. I'd remove the computer altogether until he can act like a human being. Perhaps removing other privileges might get his attention too. Have a conversation with him about his behaviour and set out your expectations. Maybe ask him why he is feeling so angry and demonstrating such disrespect - it may be he doesn't realise he is doing it. Then let him know that if he can't meet your expectations with regard to his behavioural choices, these will be the consequences. And then follow through.

Dove - posted on 09/29/2016

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No clue. I have two teenagers that spend a LOT of time (when they are at home, at least) on computer devices and they are not rude, disrespectful, or angry. A computer 'addiction' might be his problem, but based just on the little (virtually none) information you have posted I wouldn't want to be assuming anything.

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