15 year old daughter says she has an attraction to girls

Jennifer - posted on 06/29/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Help I am so emotional... My daughter has recently told me that she is seeing a girl I am soo distraught about this. I do not believe that she is truly gay. She was always boy crazy before. I feel like a failure what did I do wrong? what about the Catholic Christian beliefs that we have tried to teach her?

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Natalie - posted on 06/30/2014

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Sexuality is not a conscious choice. Did you ever choose to only like the opposite gender? Has someone taught you to like the opposite gender? Or did it come naturally and without thinking?

You can't teach a person to be straight, or gay, or whatever. They are what they are, and there is nothing wrong with it, and nothing you can do about it. The only choice you have is whether to love and support her the way she is (whatever that is) or refuse to accept her and drive her away.

Ev - posted on 06/29/2014

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I know that this is hurting you to your very soul. But what you need to do is be supportive of her and talk to her. You also need to know that when our children hit their teen years they do tend to break away from us. They are trying to identify with who they are inside and out. This includes all the Christian beliefs that you have taught her. She is going to question those at the same time she is going to try to decide who she is. The issue with being gay or lesbian or even bi-sexual is a hard one for anyone to deal with especially when it comes to their own kids. That is why you need to talk to her and see what it is she is looking for in herself. You do not have to like her choices but you should respect her enough to let her find out what is what. I have a son who is not doing this so much but he is questioning God's existence and wanting proof of that. He is a teen but he is questioning things because it is a natural part of growing up. Just do not push your daughter aside because she feels she needs to see girls rather than boys in the dating world. By pushing her thoughts and feelings aside, you push any relationship with her aside too. Talk to her. Be gentle in your words but if you do not agree with this tell her that it does not agree with how you brought her up but you are there for her. Seek counseling if you must.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/29/2014

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Still trying to "pray the gay away" huh? If you believe in God, then you believe he made people the way they are for a reason. You praying that God will change this, is saying he failed and did something wrong. That God is wrong.

If your child is gay, it is not by choice. If your child is gay, it cannot be prayed away. That goes for being lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, and the list goes on.

What do you need to do? Accept them, love them, and pray that they find someone that will make them happy and love them. THat is ALL that matters.

Being LGBT does not make someone turn their back on religion, religion tends to turn their backs on them.....don't confuse that for what God and Jesus would want you to do, since their message is "Love one another" not "Only love straight people".

Ashley - posted on 06/30/2014

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I can understand how this can be emotional to you, but I bet it is even more emotional for your daughter. Right now she is feeling things that she has never felt before, I could imagine that it is pretty scary and confusing for her to deal with these feelings and finder herself while also knowing that she is disappointing her family. You are 100% right this could just be a phase but it could also be how she truly feels and ultimately how she chooses to live her life. While you have tried to bestow on her the Catholic Christian beliefs, maybe she cant help the way that she feels. I think it is in the best interest of you and your daughter's relationship to feel things out and play it by ear so that you don't damage the relationship beyond repair.

Hope this helps. If you need to talk I am just a click away!

ELIZABETH ANN - posted on 07/02/2014

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YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH SOME CHANGES, SHE'S GROWING UP, HER HORMONES ARE GOING WILD, SHE'S HORNY FOR AND SHE'S EXPERIMENTING WITH GIRLS INSTEAD OF BOYS. IT ISN'T ANYTHING NEW THESE DAYS, MY CHILDREN ARE THE SAME, I WAS THE SAME WAY, I'LL BET YOU WERE THE SAME WAY, TOO, SO SHE'S TRYING HER SEXUALITY WITH A GIRL, LET HER TRY AND LEARN ON HER OWN IF SHE LIKES IT OR NOT, DON'T GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT, BE HAPPY THAT SHE'S TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT

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Radica - posted on 07/02/2014

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You should get her to talk with her priest about the way she feels. Also I know it's hard for you to get though this but love your child, just like jesus loves you, pray to him an ask him for help during this time, ask him to show you what to do? Remember the bibles says in levicatus 18- 22 slation
"Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin. You have to know how you would like to raise your child. Keep always with the faith. Your just going through a rough patch at this time but this too shall pass! I wish you all the best and will keep you and your family in my prayers I hope all works out! God bless!

Danielle - posted on 07/02/2014

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Love her no matter who she loves. She is your daughter and that bond should never be broken no matter what! She is the one who will be taking care of you in your future. Love is love. I have loved a man and I have loved women. I am a lesbian and I know this because I was able to figure it out and when I did...my dad was not happy. He still thinks I need to marry a man. I have been with my partner for three years and we have an amazing, smart baby boy. We are hoping to have the ban on same-sex marriage in our state over turned today. My dad loves my son and my partner but he has always told me I should marry a man. He finally told me I should marry my partner. If my father can love me all this time but still want me to be with a man it doesn't make me dislike him. It makes me want to show him that love knows no genders. My son will grow up knowing two moms and a daddy, his daddy. He is so lucky to have family. Don't push yours away because you don't understand. Love her and learn with her how to understand her feelings. Start a group, "confused moms"? Just love her and it will all be ok.

Caitlin - posted on 06/30/2014

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Religion aside, let it run its course. It can't do any harm to see who she really is. Eventually your kid will end up on one or the other side in a long-term relationship. All you need to do is make sure she is happy and healthy in it.

User - posted on 06/29/2014

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#1 only 10% of all humans feel no attraction to the same gender their whole lives. #2 phase or not try to understand it... understanding breeds knowledge which helps acceptance .. refusal of this is refusal of your baby girl. #3 sometimes kids do this to seem cool now a days being gay is cool so some people pretend to be it or think they are because they are a gender and can point out attractive people of the same gender.... sometimes kids are literally homosexual... it is what it is... you are experiencing a loss of hope for grandkids and her to have a man etc you will need to go through the stages of grief... sounds selfish but its natural for any loss. You had lost the perception of what you thought her life would be. It'll be fine its not like she came to you and said I like dogs or little kids in that way... its OK. It'll be OK. Some will judge you for you having a hard time accepting it others will for you accepting it and trying not to "fix it"... few will truly support you unbiased. But its between you and your daughter how its handled. Do it with love not frustration.

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