15 Year Old Daughter with Attitude!

Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom of a 15 year old daughter. When my daughter was 3, her dad and I split up and I was the main person taking care of her. He chose to spend approx. 5 hrs a week with her up until she was 11, when he decided that he wanted to take on having her spend time at his house so he wouldn't have to pay child support. My daughter and I had always had a close relationship, but recently, she has been so incredibly rude and disrespectful! Her dad can do no wrong, but I am always the bad guy! Are there any other single moms that have this situation where you are the enemy and dad is always the good guy? I tried to make sure she had a good Christmas and got her things that she wanted and still, she treats me horribly. I called to say Hi to her today when she was at his house and see how her day was and she was very short with me and said I bother her! It was so rude and I was so hurt.She has a chip on her shoulder toward me all the time! I went in her room and took away the gifts I got her and she will have to earn them back by showing respect. Is that the right thing to do? I miss my daughter I used to have!

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Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2013

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Thanks Jodi, thanks for your story. I don't feel alone. I just don't get the disrespect! I mean, I know when I was that age I wasn't an angel, but I would never have gotten away with or even thought of treating my mom the way she does me! Thanks for the confirmation that taking all her Christmas gifts away, as well as the tv remotes, is a good idea and she will need to earn them back!

Jodi - posted on 01/01/2013

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Ugh....15 year olds. I am dealing with one with attitude at the moment too (a boy). Today I had a HUGE talk with him about his attitude, and what it was he thought gave him the right to act like he does and speak to me the way he does. For now, I have grounded him (except for tomorrow when he will get to see his dad for the day for the first time in weeks), I have taken away ALL of his electronic gadgets, and I am putting him on chore duty for the rest of the week, just so he can have some appreciation for what needs to be done around this place that I do every single day and yet can't even get a thanks from him. I miss the son I used to have too, but I am hoping some of these harsh measures will wake him up. And if they don't, my next step is to remove even MORE privileges.

It is currently summer holidays here, and he WANTS to be able to spend time with his friends (and I'd like him to have the freedom to do that too), but if I don't see him stepping up and showing me that he can approach life at home with a more mature attitude, then he cannot have the freedoms and privileges that go with that maturity.

Not sure if it will work yet, but I absolutely think you did the right thing. Have the talk with her too. Make your expectations of her very clear, and let her know she needs to meet those expectations in order for you to allow her the privileges she seems to think are rights. They are not a right.

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