15 year old girl sneaking out, smoking pot and drinking

Diane - posted on 07/05/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I'm hoping to find some effective consequences for this behavior. She's been at her dads for 3 years now in Sacramento. She will be with me for the rest of the summer. her father and I are basically on the same page and looking for suggestions.

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Diane - posted on 07/06/2013

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the main reason she has been spending the majority of the summer with me, for good or for bad, is to separate her from those friends. But that can only do so much. she went back to spend a few days and the same thing happened again. there is a tracker on her phone that she is aware of. she had a friend spending the night and they switched phones so she could leave. her dad said that he had the chimes off as a show of good faith.

Angela - posted on 07/06/2013

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Who are her friends? That is the REAL issue here. She didn't decide on this behaviour on her own.

Ev - posted on 07/05/2013

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Not knowing what she has information on did not allow me to come up with ideas. But your ideas of taking those priviledges that you have posted are a good start. She needs to understand that sneaking out is not only wrong but she could get herself into trouble beyond just sneaking around to do things. She needs to understand safety issues as well. She also needs to be held accountable for her actions being the age she is. She needs some tough love.

Diane - posted on 07/05/2013

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she has been raised around 12 step meetings and has more information on drugs and alcohol then she would probably ever want . as of late I've been making an effort to personalize that information for her. She was sneaking out her bedroom window and her father has now activated the alarm. she will be spending the remainder of the summer with me and likely the school year. I would really like to handle this next stage of my parental responsibility "right." I tend to be to understanding and therefore too lenient. so I'm thinking one month of no privileges. No phone no Facebook no bedroom door no friends over night. I don't know what's excessive, what's appropriate, and most importantly what will be effective. I appreciate you responding to what I had written. I'm hopeful out receive some creative ideas on what would actually be effective in terms of consequences. Again thank you.

Ev - posted on 07/05/2013

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How is she sneaking out? That question needs answered so it can be addressed. As for smoking pot and drinking, you are going to have to set the rules up for that and tell her how it makes you feel when she does this. You might also have her watch some video about drinking and teens and what can happen if they drink too much. Also find some good resources to discuss drug use as well. Consequences are not going to be enough for this. SHe needs to be educated too. Make her understand this behavior won't be tolerated. Maybe its time to move back into Mom's?

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