15 yo with 21 yo? Is it 'fine'?

Lara - posted on 03/05/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




So my daughter is a sophomore in high school and she has a friend who's in university that is 21 and she's also female. She invited my daughter and also her college-university friends to a party and my daughter is DESPERATE to go. Except, I'm a bit worried. I'm really happy that my child got invited to an outside of school activity, I'm just not so sure if I should let her go along with a group of young adults in partying! My daughter has never done drugs or smoked, and always stayed out of trouble and been a good girl ever since she was borned! She's fifteen, not eighteen. Yes, there are pros and cons to this. They might try to get my child to do drugs and alcohol. I gave her a little more freedom to have a phone, to the mall ever since she turned 15 but she's still a MINOR and I don't want her to go on with the sneaking out at night, drinking, and adult business that are not appropriate for her age yet! I don't know how I should talk to her about this....I've met her friend before and she seems very polite and outgoing. I have a 'worry' about her going out with 18-22 year olds but she just tells me that I'm paranoid. I MIGHT be, but it's my job to protect her! So is it okay for her to party with grown-ups and constantly hanging out with them? I'm glad that she also has friends who care about her and include her and treat her respectfully, but there's a risk that she may be exposed to many "grown-up games". Ideas?!


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Sarah - posted on 03/05/2015




Nope. I would not allow her to go. I have been in college. A college party is not a place for a 15 yr old. No matter what is or is not going on at the party the age difference is one where it would put her in an uncomfortable position or situation. They are talking and doing things a college student does even if it is not bad. This alone will set her apart from others. Then you do have a high risk of other things going on that are often times at college parties. You also have 21 yr old guys there that are not going to know your daughter is 15 yrs old. Not a good set up.

Laura - posted on 03/05/2015




I don't think its a good idea, she is a minor for a reason.
If anything goes bad, and its a college party alcohol will be offered.
They get in trouble with the police the friend will get charged for contributing to a minor.
Im almost sure you will too for letting her go.

Its one of those things where the high school kid throws a party while parents are gone.
Something happens and the parents are still the ones responsible whether they where involved or not.

One time I was walking with my sister and some of her friends late at night, we where going home. One of the friends younger brother was also walking, we where by a abandoned place. But we where across the street. A cop stopped us to question us to where we where going . And he said that why was I with a younger crowd and if we where doing something illegal I being the oldest would have been charged for the minors. I was in my early 20s back then, maybe 23 24.

Dove - posted on 03/05/2015




It would greatly depend on the people for me more than just the age...

To 'party'? Not a chance, but my daughter at 13 spends a good chunk of time in the presence of 16+ (adults included) year old people... because they are youth group attendees and workers. I KNOW what's going on in those hang outs... and it is innocent.

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