16 year old ran away from home to be with her father

Alicia - posted on 01/13/2014 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My ex and I went to court and have 50/50 custody, however, her father abandon her at age 10 and since then I have raised her by myself with out any child support from him. Now they have been talking through Facebook and she ran away from home to be with her father in Washington state, I am in California. Can he go after child support in this case? We have a court order of one week with me and the next week with him. Only now he has her against the court order.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/14/2014

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When you go to court, she's going to be given choice of residence. She's old enough to make that choice, and a judge will allow it.

It still doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things whether you are in agreement at this point or not. Go back to court, and get it solved. When she's given the choice of residence, then your ex will be able to petition for support. YOu had that right when she lived with you as well.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/14/2014

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If she's 16, she's most likely going to be given choice of residence. At least, Cali law allows choice of residence at 14 or older, as do most other states.

And, custody is a separate issue from support. If you've not pursued child support from him, it has nothing to do with the custody agreement.

But, since you phrased it this way: "can he get child support"? Yes, he can file for support from you if the child that you both are biological parents to chooses to reside with him.

[deleted account]

I think if it is against the court order she has to come back to you unless it states otherwise.

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Martique - posted on 01/16/2014

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Firstly, I am sorry you are going through this situaton. Although I do not know the personal relationship you hold with her father, I DO know, as far as Child support goes, States Vary when it comes to the "conditons" of the judgement. If he chooses to go for Child Support, you are going to be obligated to pay for her. The courts will take your situation into consideration, but you will be given a certain amount you have to pay. My suggestion to you is this: Because of her age, there are courts that take into consideration the things that you provide for your daughter outside of the court order, for example, clothing, educational fees, personal things all teenagers scream for (lol). I have helped several fathers who have had child support orders on them and they would not pay because they knew majority of the money was not being given to the child (which is why I inquired about your personal relationship with him). Ultimately, the judgment HAS to be upheld. They are also going to look into the events that led up to her runnung all the way from California to her father in Washington.... I dont want you to divulge anything thats going to make you feel uncomfortable on here, but you should document EVERYTHING, because the reality of this is, the courts are not going to be as concerned with him not being in her life for the ten years, than they are with what made her run away from home to Be with him.... Im praying your situation works out for all people involved..

Brittany - posted on 01/16/2014

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Not sure the laws there but I know in Canada you can leave at 16 to go where ever you want with or without parents permission.he would have to take you to court for support but if you keep fighting it it will be 2 years down the road and he won't be able to get anything because she would be 18

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/15/2014

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Jodi is absolutely correct. Your situation can be taken into account, but doesn't dismiss the responsibility. As stated, if your daughter continued to live with you, there would still be expenses that you'd have to cover, regardless of your disability situation, or the fact that you have other kids.

Having 2 subsequent children did not absolve my husband of the responsibility of support for his eldest alleged child, nor did his disability and lack of funding. He still had to pay support.

Read the responses any way you like. Blunt and straight to the point is many times mis-read as sarcastic, but doesn't change the reality of the situation or the responsibilities of the involved parties.

Jodi - posted on 01/14/2014

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Actually, I'm not wrong. You just don't like my answer - that doesn't make it wrong. You absolutely are obligated to continue to support your daughter. OK, so what if your child was living with you? You'd have to support her, right? There would be additional costs involved with that. You can still afford SOME level of support.

If you can legally go for backpay of child support, by all means do, and apply it against any child support you may now have to pay. That is still supporting your child. However, you ARE required to continue to support your child, and to suggest you shouldn't have to is abandoning your duties as a parent, just as her father has for the past however many years. You can't pick and choose the circumstances under which you will support her while she is still a minor. Child support isn't about supporting the other parent, it is about providing financial support TO the other parent for the child.

Alicia - posted on 01/14/2014

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Your wrong. Simply wrong, I am not trying to come across like a person who is unwilling to support my child, I simply cannot afford to pay a large amount because he chooses not to work, and I am on a very fixed income. I've been supporting daughter and her needs all by myself never asking him for a penny. I can ask for back pay as well. He never bought her anything all these years, and I am not going to be okay supporting him. My daughter yes of course if fie for any of my kids.

Jodi - posted on 01/14/2014

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Alicia, Shawnn isn't being "judgemental" and I don't believe her comments was sarcastic. She is actually right. Your "financial situation" is irrelevant as to whether you are morally obligated to pay child support. To turn around and try to dodge paying support now makes you just as bad as the deadbeat fathers who dodge child support. After all, they often dodge it for financial reasons too. I am trying to understand why you think it is okay to not pay child support if your daughter has decided she wants to live with her father. She is not an adult yet, you still have an obligation to support her. If you have a disability and a 3 year old....how is that your daughter's problem OR her father's problem? Sorry if I don't sound sympathetic, but regardless of our situations, we have a duty to financially AND emotionally support our children. It is sounding to me like you are not really willing to do either.

Alicia - posted on 01/14/2014

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Thanks for your sarcastic remark Shawn. I actually thought you were informative and I'm here trying to get answers not judged. To be quite honest I wouldn't mind supporting my daughter and her needs, however what you think is my reasons are not, another words I actually am having a financial crisis where I am raising a three year old with a severe disability and I am going to be out of work soon, in order to be home and make sure that he is safe. I wasn't at all prepared to go into depth with my personal situation but since you were so judgemental I thought I'd enlightened you with something called benefit of the doubt!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/14/2014

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I'm still trying to figure out why you're concerned about supporting your child if she lives with her father.

Is it more important who's got physical custody of her, at the age of 16, or are her needs more important? In other words, why are you so bloody worried about supporting your child? I get that your ex "didn't" pay support, but you didn't indicate that you had a support order, just a custody order, and aren't you the more adult in the situation? YOu know what it takes (financially) to support your daughter, and an adult wouldn't mind doing it, regardless of the custody situation.

If your kid is living with her father, you should be anxious to help support her, not trying to figure out if you "have" to or not!

And, honestly, you are asking questions that only can be answered in a court of law. We're just telling you different likely scenarios.

The reality of the situation is that, when this goes to court, your daughter will be considered old enough to choose her living arrangements. When she chooses her dad, are you still going to fight the support issue?

Alicia - posted on 01/14/2014

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I tried to go back to court and because I couldn't locate him, and I wasn't aware of the legal Avenues the court dismissed my petition. Does he have to obtain a court order of custody to get child support given the circumstances of the current situation?

Alicia - posted on 01/14/2014

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Thanks, very helpful information. I was aware of the child being given a choice to live with her preferred parent, however, since the court order specifically states one week with him and one week with me, and given I'm not in agreement with the living situation, I wasn't sure if he could obtain a child support order given the current court order also states that the child cannot be relocated out of the five southern counties of California, and she is in Washington. Any advice would be great

Jodi - posted on 01/13/2014

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I'm sorry, did I read that right? Your daughter ran away from home to be with her dad, and your ONLY concern is child support??

Having said that, how old is your daughter? He could apply for full custody AND child support. And given you seem okay with her living with him, then why shouldn't he receive child support?

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