Darcy - posted on 08/11/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )
My son has been having issues with smoking pot for at least three years. I have done everything I can to try and keep things under control. he has severe anger issues from his dad having no relationship with him, his sister coming home after a 5 year absence, and me having rules such as no drugs.
Lately things were going well and I was giving him more freedom because I trusted him. I gave him back his phone, helped him get a summer job and even assisted him with his music "career". But as I was giving him freedom, he would become very nasty and defiant when I told him to clean his room or take out the garbage.
I even stopped having him do the garbage and his cat's litterbox because he was working so much. He has hardly been home.
Sunday, it became known to me he was in a car with people smoking pot. He denied use, passed his urine test and we moved forward after a long discussion. Upon finding out that he was smoking it, and has been along with possessing it (I got calls from his boss, pictures from a parent clearly showing the drugs were hidden in my sons microphone box at his friends house), I confronted him.
My son then threatened to take his life and said he hated me and ran away. Me, my boss and the police spent 5 hours searching. I then decide to call his dad, who again has never had anything to do with him and what a surprise..he was with my son. And apparently my son picked up his clothes and moved in with him.
My ex is praising my son and just beating me down as usual...this man NEVER went to choir recitals, football games, baseball games...nor did he ever deal with any academic or disciplinary issues...And now, now he is all of the sudden there for my son? In fact, my son and his father didn't speak for almost 6 year,; if it wasn't for my son reaching out, there would be no contact at all.
My son who usually tells me he loves me at least 4 times a day, hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Because I have rules...I am devastated. My ex took my daughter at 14 when he realized she could somewhat be on auto pilot and he could get out of paying support...he dumped her when she turned 18 after an extremely abusive lifestyle...I have her back now and helping her with college and getting her confidence back..I have not sought any financial contribution from that man because that has always been his issue.
My son is going to be living with an abusive, alcoholic druggie that has no respect for women..I feel I have failed as a parent, twice and Im just devastated.
Sorry I sound all over the place. I hurt, broken and just so sad. Any advise would be appreciated.