16 yr old with a controling mom

Susan - posted on 12/16/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband has a 16 yr old daughter, which he been in her life since been born. Relationship with mother has always been rocky, rough and arugement daughter lives with mother. Always seen her by court order, the last 7 yrs has been every other weekend, every other holiday and 3 weeks in summer which he hasn't talked or seen mother since then to. So if question has to go through daughter. Being home schooled for the past 2 yrs. Daughter has an older sister which has moved out mother placed due to differences . Well we got hold of her sister and we had pictures taken. The mother found out and grounded the daughter from seeing the my husband for a weekend, because the mother doesn't want the 2 sister together. Saying the oder sister is a bads influence. even though she has 2 jobs and going to college since ashe moved out of her mother house. My husband daugher is telling us she dosen't want to come over for christmas ( her dads holiday) and that she doesn't want to come over every other weekend. No reason as she said. Found out the mother is telling her to say it. Does he have the right to say no I want to see you, by court oder???

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Susan - posted on 12/18/2012

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When she mentioned not coming over for Christmas, we asked if they had something planned..she said no..she also said she just her expander in, we weren't given a key for it. Well she said she couldn't stay a whole week without being expanded..but then she said we could have her for new years, but that is the same amount of days? So what is different between Christmas and new years? We did ask her if she like coming over and she said YEA in a happy voice...do what r we to do...

Dove - posted on 12/16/2012

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How are you going to force a 16 year old to come over when she doesn't want to be there? If you try and force it when she doesn't want to be there.... your husband risks permanently losing a relationship with his child. IF this is all because of the controlling mom... the daughter will soon be free to make her own choices and will make them. If she REALLY doesn't want to go to your house and you guys force it.... you may never 'get' her back.

Legally speaking, yes... it has to go by the court order, but again... if you push it... it comes with a big risk.

Susan - posted on 12/16/2012

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I meet met her when she was 2 yrs old so I have been her life for 14 yrs. The mother has married herself.When my step daughter was 5 she called me mom in front her and then she called my husband and proced to tell him I WAS NOT her mother and how dare she call me mom. But it's alright to call the stepdad DAD?? she would also tell us what we could do and not do while we have her at our house..

So if the court doesn't get involved, then everything has to go by court order?

Dove - posted on 12/16/2012

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He can say that since he has the court order, but if she REALLY doesn't want to come.... the mom can take it back to court and the judge will, most likely, honor the child's wishes... as at 16 the court will usually let the child decide unless the child's wishes are obviously harmful to them... and even then sometimes the judge will side with the kid anyway.

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