17-month old screams everytime I tell her no

Hanna - posted on 04/16/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter not only screams, but kind of roars (?!) like some kind of a bizarre jungle animal whenever I tell her no, or ask her to stop doing something... This happens at home, in public.. everywhere. Another thing she does is she throws herself on the ground and starts banging her head against the floor or furniture. I have no idea how to handle this. Mostly I just try to ignore it, I can't really reason with her since she doesn't talk yet. Just yesterday I was at the playground with her and she kept trying to go and grab stuff from other peoples strollers and then did the roaring thing when I told her no or tried to redirect her to something else. It's just plain odd. I can't even imagine what all the other parents are thinking about when they see her :P

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Ev - posted on 04/16/2013

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Actually, Hannah, a child under two can understand that you mean what you mean with the tone you use. Time outs are not just for her to get into trouble. When she tosses a fit, put her in a place where she can throw the fit fully and ignore her. Do it often. Once she learns you are not going to give her the attention she wants when she does this then she will start to act like you want her too. As for her walking up to other people's strollers or whatever and taking things, you have to tell her no it is not hers and redirect her away. You have to keep doing this. If she throws a fit in public, pick her up and take her home. Once she sees that you are not going to take it she will get the message though she is not talking much. Kids do understand more than you realize. I am a mother and grandmother and also work with kids in this age group.

Hanna - posted on 04/16/2013

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Well actually we never do any of those things. I don't pick her up when she cries for no reason, she sleeps through the night thanks to the "CRY IT OUT" method. She most certainly does not just get whatever she wants whenever she wants, never has. We've been very strict with her. Firm, but fair. And yes, clearly I move her and try to distract her whenever this happens..If it worked, this wouldn't be a problem now would it. Also putting a child that doesn't talk yet to time out seems kind of redonkulous. I think you need to be able to explain to them why they're in there. I mean sure you can just ditch your kid and let them "calm down" but I don't think that will teach them anything. But thanks though.

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Hanna - posted on 04/16/2013

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Yes, positive reinforcement is something we do as much as we can. Ignore the bad behavior, reward them for good behavior. The good thing about her little attitude is that her "fits" don't last long. She very quickly recovers and loses interest in what she was trying to do, so I guess that's a good thing. I mean I've seen some of the kids that continue on raging for 30 minutes straight. Maybe that's yet to come, I don't know. I'm hoping what I'm doing will eventually work. I just wasn't sure if it's normal since she's not exactly 2 yet but seems to being going through the terrible twos...

Ev - posted on 04/16/2013

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Sorry for the misspelling of your name. Also at this age they are going to do this to test you to no end as well. This is a phase of her growing up. She is trying to also exert her independence in the ways that she knows how. As a kid grows up from an infant to a big girl or boy there are all sorts of phases they are going to go through and most kids go through the same ones but not at the same time. She has begun to walk and run and can do things for herself now. She is going to do other things to see what she can get away with. You just have to keep up with what you do. It takes time and does not happen overnight...I know...I have raised two kids up from baby to adult...one still is not quite there. They tested me all the way. And they were seven years apart too. And that is a challenge unto itself. I have also worked with kids for over most of my life in church and as a career and I worked with all ages. There is more to come but not all of it is fits and growls. There is a lot of good things too. Have you tried to praise her for the things that she does do right? "Good girl." "Yay!" They love to hear that too.

Hanna - posted on 04/16/2013

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Actually, Evelyn, It's Hanna. But anyways, the thing is, I don't give her any attention when she either screams or rolls around on the ground. I tell her no, this is not ok, or whatever it is I tell her to make sure she knows what she's doing is not cool, and that's why she throws a fit. I ignore the tantrums. Which is what a lot "professionals" tell you to do. Also I have been told by the same people that time out's for under 2 year old's aren't the best idea. Instead you actively ignore the tantrums so they don't get whatever attention they might be seeking with that behavior. Now yes she may have not gotten the message yet because she really only has had this problem for a month or so but I'm sure she will. Thanks for your input though.

Holly - posted on 04/16/2013

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this is what happens when you run to pick up a baby every time they cry, this is what happens when you give a child something every time they shed a tear... this is what happens when you cater to a baby's every whimper. put the toddler in time out when she does this until she can calm down... every time she tries to injure herself, tell her sternly (not loudly, just authoritatively) "Don't do that" and move her.this is ALSO a key element, MOVE THE CHILD! find her SOMETHING else to do, instead of telling her "no". tell her, "lets go do THIS" and show her something that she CAN do.

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