17 year old daughter and spring break

Susan - posted on 10/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 17 year old daughter wants to go on spring break (5-7 days) with her boyfriend of 2 years and his family. They are planning on touring colleges over spring break. His parents and brother will be there and she wold be staying in a separate hotel room with his mom. I think that the whole situation is completely inappropriate and not necessary. What do the other moms out there think or what have you done in this situation? HELP!


Ev - posted on 10/22/2014




How is it inappropriate? The BF's mother is offering to stay in the same room with your daughter so she can go on this trip. Or is it because you do not know the family well? I have a story to share with you. I am not normally a supporter of teens staying together like this but in this case if the parents of the BF are working out things to accomadate your daughter being able to go, then its not as bad as them not caring about what happens if they let them do their own things.

First story:
When I was a teen myself, I was part of a 4-H club. During Christmas break from school, we had an all night movie party. I was the ONLY teen girl in the group but there were two girls under the age of 13 also in the club. All the teen boys in the club I knew from church as well as school. Two of my cousins were also in the club and were boys. Back before I joined up with them in the club, these boys decided not to date or become a BF of each other's cousins for a variety of reasons. So, we all were friends. We had that movie night at the leader's house and watched movies. We stayed up all night long. Nothing happened either. The leader and her husband were constantly keeping an eye on us. Also adding to the fact that there were two younger girls in the club there as well.

Second story:
My daughter was 16 and a junior in high school. She finally started dating this guy in her class. By Christmas time, they both asked about him coming for Christmas. I was not sure how we were going to do this and she suggested he stay over with us. Well, I did not know how to fix it so she could have him spend part of the holiday with us at first but my parents suggested that she stay with them overnight and she would come to the house during the day. I have a younger son and he was happy to share his room with a guest. With my daughter staying at her grandparents and me having the boys with me, it worked out fine. None of the things we as mothers or fathers worry about teens doing ever happened because we thought it out and came up with a solution.

Again, I am not a huge supporter of the mix of kids for overnight activities but in some cases it can be worked out so they can do some activities. I would think that if you know this family well enough and the offer is genuine then there should be no problem for you daughter to go on this trip. Its not going to be long until she is 18 years old and she will be able to make her own choices to an extent with regards to your house rules. If you have worries then discuss them with the BF's parents.

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