17 Year old daughter goes to live with her dad after I have raised her by myself for years.

Penelope - posted on 07/13/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter went to live with her dad after I have raised her for 17 years and her dad wouldn't even had come by if it hadn't been for me. I called him every week to remind him he had a child. Never kept her on his weekends or when he would take her somewhere I would suggest he take her home but he had a 22 yr.old living with him and he would never ask her to come home but he took her shopping. She would come home with things she didn't even need or match. It was awful. He gave her money to do whatever but gave her no structure at all. He never gave her any attention and I tried to get her to go see him but she never wanted to. I feel like I have failed and now I missed the Senior Prom and Graduation was terrible and now she will be starting college and I will miss out on fixing her room up and just being a part of it. What should I do. I really don't know. SHe has not come to check on me or any of my family that have always been there for her all her life. She barely comes to even see her dog. I don't get it. We were always so close and she was a moma's girl. What has happen? Please someone tell me what is going on because I'm at my wits end.

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Michelle - posted on 07/13/2013

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Like I said, she's 17. They don't think about other people's feeling at that age. They are very selfish and will do what they want and even more so if you tell them not to.

There's nothing you can do except be there when she comes back. The more you push her now the further away you will push her.

Teenagers can be very selfish and it's best to remember that they do come out the other side and usually become normal again.

Michelle - posted on 07/13/2013

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She's 17, as a teenager you go through a period where you want to do the complete opposite of what you have been brought up to do. This is her way of defying you. At least she's not out on the streets taking drugs.

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Ev - posted on 07/14/2013

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What I do not understand is why you missed her Graduation. You could have gone and stayed out of sight and watched it anyway. You could have asked for photos from dad for her prom. As for going to college, it is a big deal and you should be there for her. But by adhering to her wishes and not going you are giving it a chance to get better. Let her come back to you on her time. I am sorry that you are going through this.

As for the comment in another post about teens being all about themselves at 17--it does not apply to all teens. They do not have to be just 17 to be selfish. It can come at any time when they become teens. But not all teens are that way. I know this because I have two kids and one is now grown and never was selfish and always thought of others before herself and my other one is almost 17 and thinks of others too. Just thought I clarify that.

Penelope - posted on 07/14/2013

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I just hope she does come back to me. I know she will be going off to college and I won't see her much but we were so close. I just wanted to be a part of her moving and fixing her room but she doesn't want me there. So i'm not begging. I'm just staying away but I have told her I love her and I always will and I will always be here for her. That's all I can do.

Thanks for your concern.

Penelope - posted on 07/13/2013

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No she's not and I don't care for her living with her dad, it's just the way she did it and now she doesn't come to see me or call or text. We have no communication at all. It's like she's mad at me and she cannot tell me why and I really don't know why. She was mad at her boyfriend and that's what started the whole thing. I don't know what I did and she can't give me an answer. But she has abandoned the only family she has had for 17 years. She hasn't contacted any of us. My sister just had knee replacement and she didn't even call her text her or anything. That really bothers me that she's so selfish and only thinks of herself. She wasn't like that when she left here. She is a very good child from newborn to 17. She will be leaving for college in August and she has her wisdom teeth cut out Tuesday (4) and I told her I would rather her come here so I could take care of her because her dad isn't even taking off and she's never been put to sleep but her grandmother is going to take her and she said she would take care of her. That tore my heart out. I don't know what to do. I thought about going and just sitting in my car until they tell me she's ok then leaving. She was suppose to call me last night to tell me if she was staying with me or not. She said I will let you know. Well I am her mother and I think I should be the one there. She get very sick with shots and needles and they don't know that. They have never even taken her to the Dr.

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