17 year old disrespecting step kid

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Jodi - posted on 01/02/2016

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Okay, well, stay being a doormat. That's your choice. You know what you have to do to change anything. You are actually making a conscious choice not to. Perhaps, if you can't do what you need to do, get some counselling for yourself.

Christy - posted on 01/02/2016

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I know it sounds like I'm blaming just the son . And I used to feel like it was Taboo to blame him for anything but a victim but after awhile I tend to also believe a 17 year old is also to blame for his part. I've tried to leave and put my foot down talk it out scream cry beg. But to no avail. I LOVE THIS MAN. And all three of us has had some very good times together No one is all bad and I know I'm probably too demanding and not the easiest to live with either that's the facts about people but I don't know how to fight anymore and everything is something now after everything keeps repeating. I wish I had the right answers or that I could live alone start over and be happier but life isn't the movies there's no one to pick up the pieces and no money to lean on and make that great escape to even find anything even if I wanted to and like I said I love him dearly just lost very lost every door I think about going through seems worse than what I am already in just lost.

Michelle - posted on 01/02/2016

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I agree with Jodi. If this has been going on for 8 years, why haven't you tried to get help before now?
I also wouldn't have hung around for 8 years in a situation I wasn't happy in.
Instead of blaming the son, you need to blame your Fiance. He's the one that has raised and taught his son how to behave and treat women. I guess it's easier to blame the child instead of the main influence in the child's life.

Jodi - posted on 01/02/2016

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Okay, you are actually describing your fiance as lazy, and have said HE treats you like crap too. I'm sorry, but this is not the makings of a happy marriage. If you and your fiance can't have a respectful relationship, how on earth doe you expect to have a respectful relationship with his child.

If you are wanting to continue fighting for this relationship, I would strongly suggest relationship counselling so that the two of you can develop a respectful relationship and be on the same page about what that looks like in your home. Then your fiance needs to model this behaviour in the home and make sure he disciplines his son if you are treated with anything less than respect.

Christy - posted on 01/02/2016

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When you blend family's it can be such a hard transition. When I say that mine has been a nightmare or that after 8 years there has been no transition but drama after drama I'm not even speaking the half of it. Now my step son is 17 and I feel like he's the main reason I'm unhappy with my fiancé. He asked me to marry him this Christmas and of course I said yes . But in the back of my mind between the both of them although I love them the problems I deal with I feel like walking away every other day. I could list the problems but to keep it short my fiancé has Spoied rotten his only son he has no respect for women himself personal space or possessions of others won't clean up after himself and manipulates and uses his father. Even incorporates guilt for divorcing is mother ( whom he hates) to get his way. And my guilt ridden lazy fiancé falls for it every time and the times he doesn't he's to lazy to put his foot down he'd rather not even talk about it. Not only am I caught in the cross fires but treated like Cinderellas evil step mom by both of them I don't want to walk away and I keep telling myself just stick it out its just a ruff patch but again the back of my mind I know posting this is probably be judged and told I'm supposed to be better than this petty stuff but I guess I'm hoping someone will tell me what I need to make a real change in my life.

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