17yr old son...

Jessica - posted on 04/09/2014 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Major problem, lies,cheats,drinks, smokes pot and God only knows. I have NO support at home. I also have a 13 yr old daughter. It's not fair that she has to witness all his anger, punching hole in the walls, ect...

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/10/2014

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Oh good grief. You and the kid's father need to get on the same page, for starters.

How to punish a 17 year old:
1) No car
2) No phone
3) no internet
4) no social life
5) for continued misbehaviour, find some community service to engage him in

There is absolutely no reason for the kid to be an asshole, nor for his father to promote and encourage it. If you and dad can't get on the same disciplinary page, perhaps its time for some family counseling to get everyone back on track.

your son behaves the way that he does because his father validates his behaviour, rather than enforcing consequences. His father is trying to be his friend, not his parent. This is what happens with that plan. I'm sorry you've encountered this, but you need to be firm with both of them now.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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Well you are the parent at home so you need to deal with the punishment so your son can have consequences. Your husband says to give the car back?? Tough. I would be doing a hell of a lot more than that. If your husband is not heloing then he cannot tell you how to handle it in my opinion.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/14/2014

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Denise, how wonderfully ASSumptive of you!

You ASSume that I've never gone through this before? How DARE you!

Tell me, my dear know it all, where you got your information? Because, I assure you, my dear, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

And, furthermore, what I did to handle the situation WORKED! or, at the very least, I'm not a grandmother yet, and my kids are both well past the age of 15.

Denise - posted on 04/13/2014

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hahaha, and I am not laughing at you, Jessica, I am laughing at the people who replied who havent experienced this. I have, with my daughter, except she started when she was 13. sex drugs running away skipping school, lying. Yep I got it all. I grounded and took away and disciplined till I was blue in the face. You know what I got, a social worker who told me how to parent differently, so I did it her way and guess what, I became a grandma when she was 15. Then I got an infant to take care of while I still parented the way they said to while she ran wild and did what she wanted. You know what I have now, a 22 y/o who got validation for her behavior from the state early on. So you do whatever you feel you have to save him from a life of nowhere, because I think if the school and state would have kept their noses out, I would at least have gotten her grown enough to get out and not mess up any more lives except her own, now thanks to their help there is a child involved who gets to experience their help in moms upbringing. Also, I have a 17y/o son who was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome at 5, so I know the difference between bully and real issues. You know what, putting him in juvie would do, it would give him a chance to look at his bully tactics. Thats what he is doing, bullying you. I begged the state people to put my daughter in juvie, they said oh she isnt bad enough, minor consumption at 14, skipped school for 4 months, showed up at school drunk yeah their way was definitely much better.

Jessica - posted on 04/11/2014

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By the way, validates his behavior? No, Daddy goes along with ALL of it. Buys his disrespectful a×× everything. Including a car, (not just any car but a 2007 Nissan with only 15,00 miles) video games, baseball crap($200 bat) and let me add that I am Not a nag or a Bit**. I have argued with his dad over and over nothing works.

Jessica - posted on 04/11/2014

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Take that away and who suffers the repercussions? I do! I can put him in juvenile detention, where does that get me? Or him? Don't want to give up. Once all that's gone, or let's just say one of those. You must not have a teenager. Geez. .

Jessica - posted on 04/11/2014

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I agree 100% however; we have been fighting the same battle for so long. DCF has been called due to the fighting. (Not physical) . I am so over it, it's not fair to my youngest daughter. I would love to take her and move out but, I feel bad for her. She loves her daddy and her brother. REALLY So sad

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2014

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Thank you, I will take your advice. I really can't take much more. . I in some strange way feel sorry for him.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/10/2014

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Well, punishment would him not leaving the house. Ground him. Take away his activities and car. Have him do MORE chores around the house until he straightens up. Do what you need to do. Teenagers are not easy, so think back to when you were a teenager and what would have stopped you from going against your parents.

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2014

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The 17 yr old tells his Dad what he's doing. I am bitched at If I in any way get involved. It's so hard on me. I feel like the child! There is no discipline, unless anyone considers, "oh son, you shouldn't talk to your mom like that". End of story! No support, No nothing! My youngest daughter is so sad. She is a straight A student and suffers with a seizure disorder. The hard to control kid, will protect her from bullies but, won't STOP fighting with me and his father in front of her.

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2014

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Punishment? How do you punish a 17 year old? I have never had to deal with this? He is a good student, works and plays baseball. However, he's not very responsible when it comes to chores and keeping up with the yard.. He does the yard once a week for car payment and insurance. Drug use? I've tried the school counselors. What should I do? That is why I'm on here, help and advice.

Jessica - posted on 04/09/2014

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Drug use, nothing! I have tried to take the car away, dad says "give it back" . I honestly have a brother in prison for drug abuse and it doesn't phase him a bit.

Jessica - posted on 04/09/2014

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I support him in his sports, tell him daily that I love him. His father works 16-18 hours a day and I have no help

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/09/2014

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Well, what are you doing to try and correct your sons behavior and temper and drug use???????

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