Lisa - posted on 04/13/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )
Hi, I have read many of your posts. Thank you all for sharing. For me, I am 18 months into a separation after 25 years of marriage. No talk of divorce....yet no talk of reconciliation. In fact we barely talk...although today preparing for a tax appt I got a text. We have two grown children that are doing well in their own lives. He moved out 3 days before our 25th anniversary saying "I can't do this anymore". What?!!!! So he moved out that night, a Friday night 8/1/2014...and to this day I still do not know where he lives. He says he lives in a trailer on a big piece of land (all zen and groovy)...meanwhile paying for me to live in our lovely home that we literally built from the ground up...and paying all of our kids college expenses. Damn I really wish I didn't need his money.
He has always been gentlemanly and kind (on the surface) but not truthful or honest as I've come to find out. The dishonesty and betrayal has been the hardest part for me to come to terms with.
Honestly, I don't have much to complain about on paper. He pays the mortgage AND also gives me a generous monthly allowance. I also work, but don't make near his salary. But I do provide health benefits for all of us. I helped build and manage his construction business for five years.
But getting back, I think it is strange that no one knows WHERE HE LIVES. Literally if there were an emergency, no one knows where to find him. Not our grown children, his side of the family or any of our friends.
I am pretty sure he has a GF, and could possibly be living with her, in a house that he built for her (kind of but not completely unbeknownst to me....because I snooped when he was acting so distant). He a house for her without EVER mentioning a word to me. And I was running his construction business/books. I did find out, and asked him about it and he said "no....just a friend....helping her find subcontractors". LIE.
Our last in person interactions were:
1) When our 13 year old golden retriever was dying, he came over and we spent the day with her before vet came and euthanized sweet girl.
2) Christmas day, coffee and open presents with the kids
2) When our 3 year old basset was seriously ill all night he met me at the vet (last month).
I know I'm boring you. Just so sad to feel this abandoned still. I have tried all of the get in touch with your spiritual side, get fit, take up a new or old hobby, do YOU kind of stuff. And it still hurts. And at this age, am wondering if it is all worth it. He left right at the time of my 50th bday. Hormones gone wild and what not. Menopause combined with being suddenly single is not the best combo!
So tomorrow hoping for a bit more sunshine than today :) best.....L.
Anyway, I hope all of you are having a MUCH better evening than me. It will all get better I hope?