18 year old daughter dating a 16 year old boy while she is living away at college

Lisa - posted on 11/06/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My daughter is a freshman in college dating a sophomore (turned 16 last month) in high school for 5 months. In the last 2 and half months they have seen each other once. That's only because his mom drove him to her college (he does not drive yet). My husband and I have not supported the relationship since day one. I advised her to not get involved with him since she was leaving for college and he is just too young and a sexual relationship in California could be illegal. They are on the phone or text all hours of the day. Any advice?

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Dove - posted on 11/06/2014

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Well... you asked for advice and my advice is to let her make her own decisions in her own relationships at 18. Period. If you've raised her well you should have nothing to worry about and if you haven't... 18 is too late to start.

Lisa - posted on 11/06/2014

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Yes 18 is considered an adult, but she is still financially dependent on us. Most "adults" don't live with parents and are financially stable....and this is NOT a relationship between two adults. One is a minor and still gets his phone takes away at 9:00 at night by his Mom. It would be completely different if she was involved with someone her own age. Enabling would be me letting her go to his house with the car and gas I pay for. When she knows were not ok with it. And yes I told her to get a job. But lets be realistic she's in college full time and is a college athlete and her car is not with her its at home.

Dove - posted on 11/06/2014

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It's only a 2 year difference... while a sexual relationship may be illegal in California (which 'most' states have an age of 16 and others allow a 2 year leniency... but I don't know CA laws)... dating is not.

Since she is 18 I would leave her relationships up to her. You can certainly advise her on how hard a long distance relationship is and that her boyfriend and her are currently living in different worlds... but I think I would let the relationship progress or disintegrate as it will on its own.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/01/2016

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Closing thread. Old. Feel free to start a new conversation.

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

[deleted account]

I know this is two years late but can I just say, I am currently communicating with a guy who is two years younger than me and he could not be any more kinder, and supportive of me. I was sort of with a guy my age a few months ago and he treated me like I was nothing but the new guy is sooo nice. Yes, things get flirty, but he treats and makes me feel like a complete princess- not that he showers me with gifts but the way he speaks and makes me feel warm inside. My advise would be to support her, because if she is in love, she most likely will go behind your back, I know I would, did and will be doing

Dove - posted on 11/07/2014

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Oh well. If she wants to control the actions of her 18 year old daughter... I guess she will and hopefully she won't suffer too much of a loss of relationship because of it.

Dove - posted on 11/06/2014

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How would you be enabling their relationship by just letting your adult daughter live her life?

Lisa - posted on 11/06/2014

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Thank you Dove. I don't want to "enable" their relationship. Where do I draw the line.

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