18 year old grandson wants to move in with us

Linda - posted on 07/19/2017 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 18 year old grandson wants to move in with so he can finish his last year of high school at his same school. He has had a difficult childhood. Parents (my daughter) split up when he was 11 months old and moved in with us (myself and my second husband-not her father) until she could get on her feet. They lived with us for 2 years. Since then my daughter was a single mom to my grandson and my granddaughter who is older than her brother and is autistic. She remarried when my grandson was 13. Everything was ok for a couple years and then my grandson became angry and took it out on his mom and stepfather to the point of police intervention. My grandson then went to live with his natural father. He is now a senior in high school. His father is very irresponsible and neglected to re-enroll my grandson in open enrollment. Now the school says he cannot return to school this year and needs to enroll in school where his father lives. I live in the district where he has been attending. I am hesitant for several reasons but mainly because of his past issues with anger. But I also don't want to let him down. it is breaking my heart that his parents have both let him down and as a result he is resentful, angry, and hurting. I'm so distraught. When he was underage, I had no say legally to help him. I suggested to him he drop out of school and get a GED. He said he thought of taking online classes but he prefers to go school to see his friends and get out of the house.

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Dove - posted on 07/24/2017

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I guess you've never signed a legally binding rental contract in your life... huh? Are you 12 or are you an actual adult who has adult responsibilities? TREATING an adult child like an adult... works for many, many, many people on the planet. I suppose that's too complicated of a concept for some to grasp though. Maybe a little time and maturity will help when you actually become an adult instead of a bored child trolling a parenting website.

Kim - posted on 07/24/2017

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Sure....words on easily torn up paper are MUCH more valuable than the opportunity for growth through actions....reality eludes many in this universe....

Michelle - posted on 07/22/2017

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Yes, a contract. Go and look at all the posts where adult children are living at home and the parents are more than frustrated with what the children aren't doing. Everyone needs to know where they stand and what is expected of them while living in someone else's house.

Dove - posted on 07/22/2017

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Yes, a contract... because he IS an adult and deserves to be treated like one... It's just common sense when you have any adult (even your own child) living in your home...

Kim - posted on 07/22/2017

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Contract?....nonsense...it's his LAST year of high school...truly the most significant for him as he's gone through so much not of his choice, yet so deserving to have his last year be his choice....on top of the struggles at the same time growing from a little boy to a man with a roller coaster of emotions he can't always explain as puberty and peer pressures take the reigns, he will need his friends and the stability of what he knows this year as it's one place he's been able to count on...let him have his choice, give him a chance...his school counselor, college reps, military servicemen, friends, etc will be a part of this year and you never know, he may be inspired to "choose" an opportunity that he achieves success within himself and find his smile....give him a chance...he deserves it

Dove - posted on 07/19/2017

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If you are considering this... treat him like the adult he is and write up a contract of what you will and will not allow while he is living w/ you and what the consequences of violating the contract will be. Then be prepared to hold him accountable to every word of the contract (that you will both sign).

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