19 & Getting tubes tied...Advice??

Synthia - posted on 06/22/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am 19 and wont turn 20 until January 2013.. I am due November 5th, 2012 with our 3rd child. (supposed to be a boy) I also have two little girls. a 2 year old and a 1 year old (march 2010 & april 2011). My other half doesnt want to get his little snip, which is one reason im getting it done. However with this pregnancy I tested positive for a higher chance for spina bifida, luckily so far this pregnancy appears to be normal. But the next one i could be not as lucky. I knew I was done BEFORE i got the test resulting positive, and this pregnancy is the hardest I have done. But with three children under 3 years old will be hard (and amazing).

Any Advice???

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Jodi - posted on 06/22/2012

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Personally, I think you guys are both way too young for any decision about permanent birth control (And while they MAY be reversible, it isn't that simple, and in many cases, reversing it can fail). I am really surprised you have a doctor who will actually do it, many would refuse. Have you actually spoken to your doctor about it? I think you are much better off talking about other options with your doctor.

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Becky - posted on 06/25/2012

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I think your too young as well, I know where I live they won't do it until you are 27 and have two children,. But if it is something you can get done it is your decision, and don't do it just because he won't. There are other forms of birth control out there. Have you considered the implant or the iud? Why is he so against it, his can be reversed with little to no complication where that type of surgery for you is invasive and not so reversible.

Stifler's - posted on 06/24/2012

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19 is pretty young. I agree with Jodi it doesn't sound likely that they will go for tying your tubes just yet. There are other options like the Mirena and the Implanon that last a few years if you don't want to go on the pill.

Jodi - posted on 06/23/2012

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Hmmm, I think you might want to expect it to be a problem. I know women who were closer to 30 with 4 kids and doctors STILL knocked them back because they were too young. 3 kids may seem like a lot for a 19 year old, but you are still only 19. I highly doubt a doctor will agree to it. But you go ahead and talk to him and see how you get on with that conversation. Personally, I have never heard of a doctor agreeing to tie the tubes of a 19 year old unless it is for health reasons.

Synthia - posted on 06/23/2012

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I actually have not talked to my doctor about it but because of how many kids I have i do not thinkk it will be a problem. As for staying with him, we have been together for almost 4 years, (lived together for all of it minus about 4 months) And for me even if we split up I would still have 3 kids... Im not sure why he doesnt want to get it done, he really wants a boy and said if it came out a boy he would, because now I have a higher chance of having a child with spina bifida I decided I would get the procedure done. I know I am young but I also know that three kids is PLENTY for me!!

Sarah - posted on 06/23/2012

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I agree with the other ladies. You have another 25 years of fertility left, what if you change your mind? What happens in 15 years if you aren't with your partner anymore? You may want another child, you'd still only be 34 years old. What about in 10 years? 5? There are so many other ways to practice birth control other than sterilizing yourself - something you very well may come to regret later. What about an IUD? You only need to change them every 5 years. Or Norplant? Again every 5 years. A patch? Nuvaring? The good old pill. Condoms? Or a combo hormonal/barrier method? You can prevent pregnancy without making a decision that is permanent. All I'm saying is you don't know where life will take you. You're still a teenager, and although things seem so permanent then, it really isn't. My sister had her first at 22, wanted to get her tubes tied, no one would do it. 12 years later, she's expecting with her boyfriend (not her daughter's father). She never thought she'd be where she is, but life has a way of not turning out the way we think it will sometimes.

Kaitlin - posted on 06/22/2012

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Why doesn't he want to get it done? "just in case"? because it's painful? because he can't have sex for three days?
Are you married or planning on spending the rest of your lives together?
For a man, it's an easy in and out procedure. It's MAJOR surgery for a woman, with a long recovery, and it's not reversible like a man's would be.
You are 19. I don't know you or your partner, maybe you two just got started on your fairytale before most, and if so, I'm genuinely happy for you. But statistically, it's unlikely, and if he doesn't want to do a minor surgery that can be reversible in the future so you don't have to go through major surgery for a permanent deal, I would question him- loyalty, future goals, and the love that's supposed to not want you to be in pain. But that's an outsiders opinion. What if your relationship doesn't pan out and you're 30 and your new partner wants children with you? Just soemthing to think about.

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