19 Month old hitting another 19 month old.

Kelly - posted on 07/30/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I've been friends with a girl since our babies were 6 months old and see them pretty regularly. They are now 19 month old and a few weeks ago her lg started being rough with my lg with my little girl just looking, thinking "why did you do that". She now has started pulling hair to a point where she won't let go and when she is brought away she lashes out kicking her. It's happened 5 times today and I just wanted to cry when my daughter got really upset. We both tell her it's not nice and to give cuddles but it just carries on. It's getting to a point now that I have to watch them and even on edge when my friends lg gets too close to her which 9/10 always leads to her being rough. She kicks, has bitten, strangles, pulls hair and jumps on top of her when she's playing on the floor. The most my lg has done (to me) is bitten which I bit her back and she hasn't done again. she has even pulled my hair just the once when she got excited which again I pulled it back and said that is naughty and it's not nice. I must point out she has never done any of these things intentionally to other children. She doesn't understand why she is being bulled (so to speak) and don't want her to be doing it herself to other children. I'm getting a little stressed now about this but don't know what to do next? Like I said she does tell her off but if it was me I would do it back to the child? Please give me some advice.


Chet - posted on 07/30/2014




Toddlers learn by copying. Don't do anything to a toddler you wouldn't want them to turn around and do to somebody else. I know it seems reasonable that showing a child what it's like to be on the receiving end should encourage them to stop, but in general, kids this age don't make that kind of connection.

What I would do is just supervise their interaction very closely. If they're playing on the floor sit on the floor with them. Toddlers don't generally engage in cooperative play. It shouldn't be a hugely difficult for an adult to between them a lot of the time.

Another strategy is to plan some structured activities : finger painting, play dough, baking cookies, stringing big beads, playing simple games like tossing balls in a laundry basket, etc. Again, they're at opposite ends of a table, or standing on chairs at the counter with an adult in between. Try to orchestrate things such that there is limited opportunity for hair pulling and hitting.

Also, if this stuff happens when they're in a confined space try going to the park or out the yard.

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