Sandy - posted on 09/05/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )
My daughter got into a relationship with a boy she had dated for three weeks in high school. They had broken up because he said she was too clingy. In the last year she got back into the relationship with him. I started seeing that the relationship didn't seem healthy, so I approached his mom and said that I felt their relationship was very obsessive. I told her my daughter doesn't want to do anything with anyone in our family only him and his family. My daughter started trying to make excuses to spend the night there and I told her I didn't want that because she lives under my roof, so she sleeps under my roof. She did spend several nights there and we would have arguments about it when she finally decided to come home. This boy would never come in my house to pick up my daughter. He would pull up to the sidewalk and wait in the car for her to get in and then leave. I mentioned to my daughter we would like to get to know him but he will never come in. She would never share any good things about him or bad things about him. It just seemed she was obsessed with him and wanted him all to herself. I took her to get on birth control pills (which tore me up) but I knew she was in a sexual relationship so I wanted her to protect herself. It seemed to push our relationship further away, I had thought the opposite would happen. She kept doing less and less with our family and less and less conversation. I invited him to xmas, easter, dinners. He would not show up. She didn't even want to eat dinner with our family. She would always sit and wait for him to get off work and then eat with him and his family. She was attending college full time, but after their relationship started to get more intense, she only would go at night with him to a class and one day class. Now she does 2 classes online only. I have got into confrontations with her boyfriend as to how weird I feel their relationship is. He just cusses me out and I say some nasty things to him, meanwhile my daughter just stands there with her head down not saying anything. My husband and son have had words with him about how our daughter needs us in her life too. He just screams at us calls us worthless parents and threatens to call the police on us because we came to his house to get our daughter. He says she doesn't have to listen to anything we say because she is eighteen. He is a very hot headed teenager at 18 thinks he knows about being a parent and knows best for our daughter. He said if we try to get rid of him we will only lose. I tell him we are not trying to get rid of him but I find it very weird that they feel they only need each other and no one else. They are not as INDEPENDENT as they think. They live in HIS parent's basement. She does have a license but now she doesn't live with us, she has no car and is totally dependent on him to get anywhere she needs to be. However, she does text us occasionally, we try not to talk about him. Her sister is so broken hearted she lost her sister. They use to be really close. Her brother recently deployed to Afghanistan and she wouldn't even show up to say good-bye to him.