2 under 2.. any suggestions?

Alex - posted on 07/05/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a 12 month old and I am having a baby in a couple weeks.. both boys ( thank goodness!! :-) ) some my concerns.. is my toddler old enough to use his toddler bed if he can't walk yet? We just got him out of our bed a month and a half ago. (I know.. definitely wont be making that mistake twice!) Also my first seems oblivious to my huge belly how do I get him ready for his little brother? And any suggestions on a good and affordable (under 150 if possible) double stroller?


Chet - posted on 07/05/2014




Our girls were born 16 months apart, and our boys were born 17 months apart. Closely spaced children can be difficult when you have what amounts to an older baby and a newborn, but there are a lot of benefits. They become peers very quickly and can share toys, clothes, books, etc. They enjoy the same activities, like the same shows, have the same friends... it helps a lot.

Please don't consider co-sleeping a mistake and something to never do again. We co-slept with all four of our children and I never would have survived four kids born in the span of five and a half years without it. With two very small children you will have better things to do with your time than try to convince a baby to sleep somewhere they don't want to sleep. If the new baby likes the crib then go for it, but don't waste energy on the crib if it turns out to be an uphill battle. Choose the path of least resistance when it comes to sleep. You want everyone to get as much as they need with as little effort as possible.

I would not bother with the toddler bed until your son can climb in and out of it reliably. Under 18 months, I would probably just give him a mattress on the floor. Our first three kids all moved from our bed, to a crib mattress on the floor, to their own bed. Our forth went directly from our bed to his own bed, but he was older.

We skipped the double stroller. Even the best ones are still cumbersome, the good ones aren't cheap, and half the time one child doesn't want to be in the stroller or the double stroller won't fit where you want to go. I used a baby carrier for the littlest one, and a single stroller for the older one. Find a store with knowledgeable staff and a good selection of baby carriers and they can help you pick one and learn to use it. The good carriers are expensive though - $80 to $100 isn't unusual.

Everyone I've talked to with closely spaced kids (like a 12 to 18 month age gap) swears up and down that their toddler couldn't have cared less about the baby. When you're 13 or 15 months old you believe so strongly that you are the centre of the universe even a newborn baby can't rattle you. Sometimes people say that when they older child gets to be closer to two they suddenly started to have issues with their six or eight month old sibling, but we didn't experience that. Our kids just thought that they baby was another object in the house, and by the time they realised it was a person, they didn't know life without it. You can expect way fewer jealousy issues with small age gaps.

The hardest thing is when both kids honestly need you at the same time. Like I said, you'll have what amounts to two babies and it's not always obvious who needs you more and who can wait. One thing that was useful was to just have a friend or family member around, or if I took the kids to visit somebody - then I had adult company and an extra set of hands when it was necessary.

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