2 year old and newborn.2 year old clings and newborn wants to be held

Heather - posted on 06/24/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 2 year old has been wanting to be held constantly. If I walk he is tripping over my feet if he's not trying to stop me to try and get me to hold him. He cries when I try to do anything besides with him. He cries for a drink or for food when he's not hungry. It's getting my newborn upset so then my newborn wants to be held constantly. Which upsets my oldest even more. I basically go between the 2 crying kids. not all day but more so then not. what gets me is I take the time out for each of them but the moment I get the newborn my 2 year old tries to get on top of me. If I tell my 2 year old to get off my lap because I'm trying to burp my new born> The 2 year old gets so upset and cries like I hate him. He asked me if I was mad at him once. I need help to get him to understand that I love him. That he doesn't have to be on top of me 247. That space and independence can be good also. Or like how can I set up boundaries? My 2 year old is already shy around everyone else when he's with me. If he"s with anyone else he's normal. Oh and he already does everything I tell him not to if he thinks I'm ignoring him. But he shows me out of no where that he is listening. He is just not doing what I say on purpose. I'm one person. He is a great helper so he's definitely included. advice would be great or discussion. Anything by this point. It's rare getting this spare time.

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Heather - posted on 06/25/2015

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wow thank you I read a lot of good info last night. I have been doing a lot of what you are saying but I guess I was getting aggravated and upset because I don't get why he doesn't know I love him. It's not like I don't include him. I feel even worse when I turn around and knock him over because I didn't realize he was about to hold onto my leg for dear life. Then he's crying because he fell. It gets really upset when I love him so much and my intentions are for the good. I know everything takes time but I'll focus more on my emotions. Thank you

Duse1 - posted on 06/24/2015

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I never had a free piece of lap.. all I can say.. I raised five, so you can imagine.LOL.. Two is a rough age.. wait it out.. he is still pretty much a baby himself. .. You have two legs,, tell him to sit on one while you have the other leg for the baby. Make sure he knows that leg is his and his only while other is for the baby, also when it is time to burp the baby ask him to gently help you do so.. show him how.. then when he gets bored of doing that burp the baby again the right way..LOL.. The baby is only reacting to you getting upset with the two year old..Calm mommy you have a fairly calm baby they both will have to learn to share you.. I know that sounds crude but making him feel like he has to wait when before he was the sole baby is not going to work and is much harder to maintain .. I lavished my two year old with affection so much that he started saying mommy my baby needs you.. LOL. .. the baby was actually asleep all fed and fine.. but he was wanting to be more independent.. I bet your two year old will to in time.. it took mine a few months to see he was not left out.. OH and I told him that his baby brother was His Baby.. I talked about his brother like he belonged to him.. I would say I brought home your baby brother for you... He helped with taking the diapers to the trash,, I praised him ,, he brought me the lotion I praised him. .. He helped in everything except feeding.. He was a good big brother.. All children are different, I hope he starts to accept his sibling soon.. I know this is rough on you.. but having two children this close together is never easy.. Good Luck

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