2 year old turning into a spoiled brat :(

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Aarika - posted on 08/08/2015

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Yes, we all are there at some point. I'm a stay home mother to 3 children, I wasn't always though. Spanking does go along way but that's not for everyone. My oldest was the same way. Especially if a toy was taken. I was at a loss for years, when he was 5 he started doing it in school, so I took everything he had but his mattress and bedding, Heck I even took his bed lol there was nothing left in his bedroom but clothes. He had to earn everything back. At 1st it didn't work like everyone said it would until it was time to go for our Friday nite pizza, we wouldn't go out to eat, Nanny's house, bday parties etc. However when he didn't do those ten things he did everyday that he wasn't suppose to do. I sat him down in his lil chair, I would sit on the floor at eye level and explain to him ok yesterday you were so good you never did this or that, went through the list, he got to choose his reward a couple of toys plus a trip to the park, his bed. The reward should b major so that it gets their attention something that will make his eyes pop. Time out should start over if their not doing what suppose to be doing. He may be looking for the attention, his energy needs to b ran out. My favorite thing is turning the tv off, I almost hate the tv. kids shouldn't get a reward of t.v.pop cycles, candy until they've some something right. Bottle? It maybe be hard to take that away but that's jus giving in to what he wants, good or bad behavior. Throw that thing in the trash your giving in to him. I know how hard and stressful it is to fight with a two year old that doesn't give in but if ur giving in why should he stop he knows you will first...

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Dove - posted on 08/09/2015

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I realize you are telling him why he is being hit... but he is TWO. If it is OK for mom to hurt him to 'show him what it feels like', but it is NOT OK for him to hurt mom when he is angry... Well, that's just not logical at all. If he is freaking out trying to hurt people... calmly take him in to his room and walk away. If he is destroying things... remove anything from his room that you don't want destroyed. You need to stay calm and patient and stop fighting w/ a two year old... because that is a battle you will NEVER win. You can not reason w/ them and you can not fight them... You just keep consistent w/ the behaviors that you will not allow by not rewarding them w/ the attention he is seeking, give him things he CAN get into, and lay on the attention when he is doing a desirable behavior. It WILL get better.

Callanoptimist - posted on 08/09/2015

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He is told why he's been smacked for that, I sit and explain to him "that's ouch, that hurts. Did that hurt you? Well it hurts me, too", he only empathizes for that split second, though.

I've got a few videos of his tantrums, problem is, he knows cameras, and plays innocent as soon as he knows they're there, so that always seems to fail.

Dove - posted on 08/09/2015

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Hitting him for hitting is likely to backfire even more... he does not need to understand how it feels to know it is not allowed... and why is it ok for mom to hit him, but he can't hit anyone else?

If the therapist doesn't believe you... try recording your son when he is doing these things.

Callanoptimist - posted on 08/09/2015

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Thank you. I really do appreciate it.

We do go out and do things, just not as often as I'd like. Being winter here, there's no where to really go that's under cover, so it's the first difficulty, plus always being scrapped for cash but besides that we do try to find things indoors to do.
When we do go out to families houses and such, like we did tonight, he tends to do the same things. Tantrums galore, all night long until he get's what he wants, which is quite embarrassing, as well.

The only times he gets a spanking is when he spits on people, or when he hits someone, with his attitude as it is now, I just feel like smacking him for any other reason will backfire and get worse, so I try to avoid that as best I can, but when he's hitting other people, he needs to understand how it feels, and he's not very nice when he hits. He's fist punched people in the face, kicked, pulled hair, bitten, but yet when he's good, he's really good. He says please, ta, can communicate fairly well for his age, which took some extra time but now he's good with it. Can ask for his bottle to be filled with "Fill?" and ask for a "biscuit", "na na", "dinner" or "brekky", just starting to say "Poo Poos, yuck" when he needs a nappy change, but still blantenly refuses to have his nappy changed. He can clean up after himself, put his dishes in the sink, and away when they're washed, etc, but as soon as he doesn't get what he wants, he smashes things, and gets violent. He even ripped the pantry door off the the cupboard because he was told "no" for a biscuit. He's smashed tiles off the walls for being told "no" before, so his tantrums go to extremes. We even asked a toddler therapist about how extreme is still normal, and he just looked at us like we were mental or something, and that really annoyed me. Because the doctor thought he may have had mild autism, which wasn't the case, but the therapist continued to question us about his behavior like it wasn't possible for a child to do any of these things.

Dove - posted on 08/08/2015

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He's 2... His tantrums sound a bit extreme, but other than that he sounds like... he's 2.

You say the three of you are crammed in the house together 24/7 and it drives YOU (two full grown adults) nuts... what about him? He needs space to run and play a LOT where there isn't anything to get him in to trouble.

You say he's getting in trouble many, many times/day by touching things he's not allowed to touch in the house... is there any way you can move some of those things, so that he doesn't have any access to them? Certainly not all of them because he does need to learn that no means no, but maybe by removing some of them you will reduce the number of battles... which at this point sounds like it would be a relief to all of you.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2015

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He's two. Testing boundaries on absolutely everything is what a toddler does.
You need to remain consistent, shut down the tantrums each and every time, and continue to be that broken record. Eventually, he'll grow out of this.

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