2 year old with temper???

Kristie - posted on 09/06/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son is two and has a horrible temper at times. i need some advice on how to break it. he throws thimgs whem hes mad and throws himself around. he hit me and threw his goldfish cuz i didnt get him his juice whem he could reach it. im told kids always act up with mom but whem hes with his dad hes supposedly fine. any suggestioms?

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JuLeah - posted on 09/06/2011

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The twos are not terrible if you can see it from the kid’s point of view.
What if you had lived in a world where all your needs were met without you ever needing to even ask, sweet right?

Well that is the life of a baby if they are lucky

But then for reasons you can not understand, your needs are not being met. Of course, you have grown in this world and your needs and bigger, more complex then they once were, but they are not being met.
You want to wear your red shoes and go outside to pick up rocks like you did yesterday, but the people in your world keep offering you blocks to play with.

It’s enough to make ya wanna scream in frustration

Kids at two have figured out they can impact their world, they are separate people. They have ideas, plans, wishes, wants … they see an open door and want to go out, but what happens? Someone picks them up and keeps them inside GRRRRRR
They can not understand limits, or rules, or safety. Telling them it is 11:00 at night and too late to go out won’t help, they can’t tell time. It doesn’t even work to show them a clock; I tried

What they lack is language, impulse control, and any kind of ability to delay gratification.
The best thing you can do is give them language. Talk ALL the time, read to them, sing to them, play rhyme games.
If you think you know what they want, give them words; Name feelings, and foods, and experiences.

The sooner they can ask for what they want the sooner the tantrums will stop – provided you have not taught them ‘tantrum’ is a form of communication that works.

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Ages 1-4 are the most aggressive ages. Its actually normal child development. Children are experiencing a lot of emotions for the first time and don't know what to do with them. Its our job to teach them how to manage them. Explain the emotions to him, if he gets really upset just let him know that you understand hes upset but we don't throw/hit/act up when we are upset. Teaching him calm down techniques is always a good thing too. When hes throwing a tantrum say we count to ten and breath deep for example. Once hes calm, let him know how he should react to the emotion.

Ignoring bad behavior and praising good works too.

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Kristie - posted on 09/07/2011

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My son talks and can ask what he wants. But theres not need for him to throw a tantrum over juice thats within his reach. I am just asking for some suggestions on how to handle his tantrums at times.

Johnny - posted on 09/06/2011

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Sounds developmentally appropriate, unfortunately. There are some great parenting books out there of all stripes that might give you some positive suggestions about how to curtail this kind of behaviour. What type of approach to take really depends on what feels right for you and your son. Look until you've found the right match.

Katherine - posted on 09/06/2011

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Yep. Terrible two's. Also ignore the behavior and redirect. Always give positive reinforcement. Mine is 2.5 and has tantrums too. I just ignore her, although she's never thrown a goldfish.

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