20 YEAR OLD daughter was kicked out

Ingrid - posted on 04/07/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Feeling guilty for doing this. She doesn't listen, has no respect, thinks we are a gravy train, does what she pleases, does not help around the house, and snaps at me unless she wants something. She smokes now, has had an eating disorder for 5 years and won't get help, pretty sure she is doing drugs. We kicked her out and I am the one feeling guilty! What do I do? I am a wreck and it is affecting my homelife with my other kids since I am so depressed.

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Isa - posted on 04/10/2014

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Thanks everyone for your support . I am happy I got into this Mom s group. I was so lonely dealing with all of this non sense on my own. I have contacted Social Services to get custody if my three year old grand daughter. If I cannot change the life of my 19 year old daughter at least I can do a lit from my Grand daughter . My daughter turned 19 yesterday. Now, she thinks she is an adult she wants to move out with BF whom she met only two months ago and smokes marihuana, to add bad to worse she wants to take her three year old daughter with them!!!! I will fight custody. My daughter gas a $40,000 oo scholarship that she is giving up to move with that loser !

Mercedes - posted on 04/08/2014

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Isa Baradell-I know it can be very frustrating and heartbreaking, but I say that if she has the balls to scream at you, tells you to get out of her room that most likely shes not giving a cent for, and makes you feel like a victim, then shes old enough to handle herself out there. I dont know whats wrong with these kids today! They take parents for granted!
I have problems with my 15 year old...I'm going to give her tough love....I'm taking her to court. Either she shapes up or out to boot camp she goes. I'm a 48 year old mother of 4, the others are boys, youngest of the boys 21. They are all doing their own life and never gave me a headache like my daughter is giving me. But, I am not going to take this anymore! Its not fair for us parents to take this type of abuse from our own kids, our flesh and blood. Dont fear anymore Isa and try to get control of your life! Let her know who the boss is! go to court and find out your options and what you can do to help her..thats my advice to you.

Isa - posted on 04/07/2014

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Not sure what to say, my daughter will be 19 and is doing whatever she pleases, Screams at me, slams doors , gets me out of her room etc etc. I am tempted to ask her to leave.....but..... she will go where ? it looks like they are strong to abuse us, parents, but, they do not think about consequences. I don't want to lament if I ask her to leave
, as she starts college in September and will find the excuse that I kicked her out. But, for how long more shall I take her abuse? I cannot even sleep at night, I have become her victim, afraid of one of her explosions!

Mercedes - posted on 04/07/2014

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Try not to feel guilty, and I know it can be very hard. We as parents want the best for our children, we guide and advise them in every which way possible, we give the best of ourselves. However, they seem to know it all. They dont want our advise and guide, they want to do their own thing and when we try to help them, they get mad and catch tantrums. So, what you did was fine, she is going to find out how hard life can get without mommy or daddy. She will learn a few things out there, it is sad however because we are always trying to protect them, but sometimes we have to let them fall on their behind for they can feel the pain and come to their senses.
I post in this community about my 15 year old daughter. She was an honor student and a teacher's pet in Junior High School, she got accepted to a High School of fashion, which to be accepted you had to write an essay, build a portfolio, and pass the interview. Today my 15 yr old is doing horrible in school, cuts class, has a 19 year old boyfriend which is a gang member, she is having sex and oral sex with men, her room is a pig sty, she's very disrespectful to her dad and I. She is a total mess. I dont know if she uses drugs, which I wont be surprised, but she's drinking. So, my solution.....I'm taking her to court...there she will be appointed a mentor...he will take care of all issues that has to do with school. They will give her some time to shape up, but if she doesnt the judge will give me the option of either I give her a second chance to change or boot camp it is. She will learn the hard way and thats too bad, this shouldnt be happening, but it is what it is. If I have to put her in boot camp it shall be done for her sake.
Take it one day at a time, remember to inhale and exhale, pray for a clear mind, pray for the whole family and her safety. I wish you the best, I wish you peace. Most important do not blame yourself for what shes doing. She knows what shes getting into.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/07/2014

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Get over it. She chose her road, you just told her to start moving.

If your adult children do not respect your home, nor your rules, that's when the door comes into play. Do NOT let her back home without a firm agreement, in writing, from her.

DO NOT give her financial assistance. DO NOT purchase groceries, etc for her. DO NOT pay her bills, rent, etc. She wanted to behave disrespectfully, and these are the consequences.

You did the right thing.

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