20 year old lost son

Sonia - posted on 02/10/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My 20 year old only child son has been a challenge for several years now. For a long time I defended his behavior and blamed myself for getting remarried when he was 12. It is extremely painful to see him angry and negative when his childhood was beautiful and bright. I did all I could as a single mom and my family helped to raise him with lots of Christian love. My husband also loves my son dearly and now I see that my husband is not the problem...it is truly my son. To see him struggle with worldly things-bad group of friends, drinking, smoking,drugs, poor choices, inability to handle money, failure in attempts of college, distance from the family that raised him with so much care and now he is confirming again and again that he does not believe in God at all. All other things forgiven--I don't think I am handling his renouncing of our Heavenly Father very well. He was immersed int he church growing up. Knew that Jesus loved him. Everything he was taught--he is running from full speed.He tried to leave and 'do things on his own' but ended up returning on our conditions of no drinking drugs etc. He has been more cooperative but still has no problem hating God. I do my best not to react to this but it is horrible. I would rather have him be dissatisfied with me or anyone else but still hold on to God. I am a strong believer and know all things are possible with the Almighty--but am also realistic enough to know that my son is excersizing the free will that God gave him.
Mother's pain begins before birth and never never ends.
Any encouragement? Advice?

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