22 Years old with 2 children, loss of attractiveness what do i do?

Carole - posted on 11/05/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi my name is Carole and i am 22 years old. I have a 3 yr old daughter called Kiersten and a 2 month old Son called Kasyn. I love them both very much. I have been with there father for nearly 8 years. My partner is 10 years older than me which obviously has never been an issue. He is a great daddy and would do anything for me and our children. Unfortunately for me he is lacking else where in our relationship. Right now i feel so old, unattractive and really down in the dumps. We haven't been intimate since before i got pregnant this year and it's really getting to me. We don't really cuddle or kiss much , haven't snogged in along time. He doesn't go out with me when i go out for drinks, of course i have a girly night but now and again it would be nice to go out with him.. as i am feeling neglected i think my frustration and anger is affecting the way i am with my children. Well more my 3yr old as she is at that age where she is into everything and wanting everything etc She is very forward for her age also which i find hard to handle. She hates tidying up her toys and won't listen to me at all. She will however listen to her father, who quite often gives into her bad behaviour. For me this is extremely frustrating as then i have a hard time sorting her out, i work with special needs children and have to deal with different behaviour on a regular basis. But yet i can't seem to sort my own child out. I decided to do a reward chart with Kiersten , it has worked a bit but she still answers back and throws a tantrum. I feel this is all my fault because of my anger and hurtfulness that i have built up is coming out on her. I hate myself which brings me to hating my partner for i guess making me feel this way. He doesnt realise how down i am actually getting. I have spoken to him a bit about it and what i feel needs to change but he will change for a couple of weeks and then its back to square one. I feel he doesn't make much of an effort with me and to be honest i have felt this way for a couple of years. I don't want to hurt him but i am thinking about calling it a day if things dont work out by January.. i'm scared though and don't want to be alone. i love my kids so much but i have been told by friends that you shouldn't stay with someone for the kids.. i just think if i was happier than maybe me and my partner would be ok and my kids would be happier too... what do i do?

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Carole - posted on 11/05/2012

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Hi Holly,



Thanks for the tips. I will give it a try but i am just getting to the stage where i am fed up of making all the effort.. i wish that he'd plan a night for us instead of me u know...

Holly - posted on 11/05/2012

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I am sure you have tried EVERYTHING i know that i would.... you should probably seek counseling. have you TRIED telling him how you feel? have you tried creating a "sexy night"? let family or friends watch your kids for one night, light some candles, cook a meal, and have some alone time with your hubby. start with something that he'd like, like going down on him, that might help HIM get in the mood, then you both can go from there.

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