23 weeks pregnant and newly single

Angelea - posted on 03/30/2014 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Hi all. I'm 22 and have a 2 year old little girl and am 23 weeks pregnant now. I have been with my now ex-fiance for 7 years. Well, short story is, this pregnancy was planned and everything seemed to go great until a few months ago. When he decided he wanted to have time to himself and drink and party. Well I got upset. And all we ended up doing was fighting. Well, he broke up with me a few days ago and told me that he was done with me. I found out he cheated on me and then fooled around with me. Well, he has moved out and wants nothing to do with his kids. I am so upset. I just don't understand how he can do this to me and his kids. I really thought he was the one.. But apparently I was wrong. I still love him and everything. But I am just so hurt that he abandoned us. I can't believe he cheated on me and is love with this person. I am so stressed and so depressed it's not funny. I have like no friends because he was my life. I barely have family... So it's like I have no support. How long does this pain last? What am I going to do? What can I do? I'm trying to get through this for the kids.

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[momoftwo] - posted on 04/01/2014

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Well you just broke up so it's a new wound that will take time to heal. There are a lot of people on here that are good for support and possibly going through the same thing or worse. Just focus on you and the children because that guy is definitely no good and there is no way he is in love with the new girl. If she thinks she's special HAHAHA jokes on her because she was JUST the "other girl" recently and guaranteed he will find a new one soon enough. If he was willing to throw away a long relationship then heck, she won't last very long now will she? Lol
Karma will kick him in the ass soon enough and he will come crawling back with his tail between his legs, they usually do. I just hope you are strong enough to leave him for good. He could have given you an STD that could have killed/hurt your baby!
You should go see a councillor as well because you have a lot on your plate right now and you need to be there for your already born child. Be strong and know that Mr. Right is out there and you will eventually find him. Good things come to those who wait.
You need to mend whatever issues you had with your friends and family.

Holy smokes I just read the comments below and I'm glad I did.... if he laid a hand on you while you were pregnant, I would have left him at that! Never mind cheating and "abandonment" he should NEVER lay a hand on you pregnant or not! I want to hit him now, like a full blown beat down :/

Charity - posted on 04/01/2014

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That's just awful that a man would hit a woman and even more horrible, if that's possible, while she's pregnant. Wasn't he taught that a man is to never hit a woman? I sent you an email, but yeah, I know you don't want your kids to grow up thinking it's okay for a man to hit a woman or ever cuss at her. It's a good thing you got away from him.

Angelea - posted on 03/31/2014

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Well I agree. I am going to be making sure he pay child support for both of the kids. He needs to because he is the father whether he likes it or not or wants to be. And yes, he is dangerous. He has gotten physical with me while I'm pregnant. I wasn't allowed to call the police because my mom said I would regret it later down the road. He has choked me and also almost broke my wrist. And has done it in front of our 2 year old. Well, I regret her not allowing me to call the police. I really do. He doesn't deserve to be in their life.

Charity - posted on 03/31/2014

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I can understand that you'll need financial support.. but if he doesn't want to be their father, I can understand how hurt you feel and not wanting to establish visitation or even take money from him.... It's a hard situation all the way around.
I kind of know what it's like to be the child in a situation like that. My dad didn't want my sister and I and it hurt my mom, but she decided not to press for child support because she didn't want him involved with us, having visitation or anything. He was such a dangerous man. I only met him once when I was about 2 years old.
It's really hard growing up very poor and with out a father at all, but sometimes it's better than being in a dangerous situation or with a parent that made it clear that they don't want their child. I really wish you the best and who knows.. with out him around or in their life at all, it might free you up to meet a new husband who could be a wonderful father figure to your kids. You never know. Stay positive.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/31/2014

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You're going to let him get away with not supporting them?

Angelea - posted on 03/31/2014

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He signed an affidavit at the hospital, he can't file for paternity. I am planning on trying to get full custody of the children. He wants nothing to do with them, so that is already on its way. I went today to get it taken care of. Thank you guys for the support. It really has helped talking to people.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/31/2014

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You need to visit with a family attorney, get paternity, custody, visitation, and support orders established.

Regardless of whether or not you wish to have him back, he needs to support the kids.

Charity - posted on 03/31/2014

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Sorry to hear that you're unemployed also and with being 23 weeks pregnant, I'm sure it's hard to find a job. You're right though, you shouldn't take him back. He doesn't need to cheat on you and he could bring STDs home to you and plus he hurt you deeply.

Angelea - posted on 03/31/2014

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Exactly. No one can replace him. But that doesn't mean that it's worth taking him back. At this moment he has no interest in being with his children. I live in Michigan and currently unemployed. So that really doesn't make matters any better.

Charity - posted on 03/31/2014

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Well, I don't blame you for feeling that way. Even if you're close to your mom, it can't take the place of the fiancé that you lost. We can be email friends if you want. I live in California. Other than that, there might be a meet up group or a mom's group that meets near where you live. Maybe coworkers.
It's really hard to start all over. It just really hurts and sometimes it takes such a long time to stop crying and feeling bad about it. you know?

Angelea - posted on 03/31/2014

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We are and I have talked to her. But it sometimes just doesn't feel like enough.

Charity - posted on 03/30/2014

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Hope you feel better soon. Do you have any sisters or your mom maybe that you could talk to? Sometimes girlfriends are good to talk to too and can cheer you up.

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