24 son addicted to Heroine and Meth

Djanna - posted on 07/20/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

11

1

2

I read some stories on this site very much like mine. I need support from mothers who know how I feel.
My son is 24 and addicted to heroine and meth. I love him very much and cant stand to watch him ruin his life.
I left his father because of drugs. After we married I discovered his mother asking him to go get her drugs. She wasn't the type of grandma who makes cookies. She was an addict.
I couldn't stand living with an addict anymore and was not sure how I was going to leave him. My x husband's father was a big enabler. He was an addict as well and between his wife, his kids, and himself, they drove the business into the ground.
Leaving my x was one of hardest things I have ever done. I felt like I was trapped in a cult. I was so glad when I finally got away. My son came with me and did not want to see his dad. I didn't speak bad of his father or discourage my son from seeing him. He didn't want to see him because of the way he had treated him.
About 8 years after I left my sons father he died from an overdose. HIs mother, my sons grandmother, had a morphine implant and she had died a few months before. He took the morphine that was left and it killed him. Then his sister, my sons aunt, died 6 months later from alcohol. She left a husband and a son. My son didn't want to attend any of the funerals.
I remarried and my son lived with us. My son and my husband got along real good. The problem was that my son would manipulate my husband, who has never had children, and that got in the wa*y of me establishing rules. He began hanging out with the wrong crowd.
My son moved in with a drug addicted girl a few years ago whose father is very wealthy. She had a couple of new cars, houses, and money to spend however she wanted. They did all the wrong things with the money and she left him. He is still in the luxurious apt. which is payed for by her father. She is back in Kansas with her new boyfriend. I wont get into some of the crazy things that they both do when they are high and continue to do.
I am including this letter I wrote to my son. I omitted his name. This is how I feel right now:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi --------,
I had a bad dream about your dad last night and it made me want to write you this.
I love you but I can't keep helping you. It is not the fault of anyone else that you are headed for deeper and deeper darkness and pain. It is the drug. it is the drug that makes you blame everybody else for your condition because it blinds you with lies. it is not your DNA that causes you to sell yourself cheap and hurt people around you. It is the {D}rug {N}ot {A}llowing you to see how beautiful you really are. It is not the condition of the world that makes you depressed and lonely. It is the state your mind is in because you are killing yourself slowly. You are the one who made the choice to poison yourself not the world, not people, not DNA, I can only help to a certain point and if you are not willing I have to let go. I am responsible for my own life and my life is suffering because you are not making an effort to change.
I wish for you to find the light and let it guide you away from the darkness you are in. I need you to make the decision to turn your life around and show it through your actions. I need to see that you have found a new appreciation for life without the aid of drugs telling you what to say.
If you work on yourself today your future self will thank you. I hope you take my words to heart. You need to take responsibility for you life. Life gives back to you in the same measure you give to others.
I love you
Mom

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Valerie - posted on 12/10/2013

173

27

4

I too am a parent of two addicted children. I have twin 18 y/o girls who have been in and out of rehabs and juvenile hall and programs and everything I could get them into or what the courts ordered them into.. to not much avail... I feel your pain and know that you are not alone!! There is a great group called "The Addict's Mom" I am a part of on the internet- they have a website and a facebook- it's focus is us, as the parent's of addicts... it might be worthwhile if you have time to check it out... feel free to in-box me if you would like too... I am now at the turning point soon of having to allow them without being in charge as they are now 18 and one is finishing a sentence to a group home in February and the other is awaiting sentencing as she escaped her boot camp that was court ordered under the juvenile system... I am afraid her sentence will be quite lengthy.. Sad to know that I am actually more at peace when they are in custody as I know they are safe and not using and out in the streets... the adult world is awaiting them next and I am scared to death!! hugs to you!!!! Valerie~~

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/21/2013

21,273

9

3058

This group is the most relatively related to what you need.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/moms-in-reco...

I have read your letter to your son. It sounds great except all the parts taht you are saying "I need" or "I wish". Please remember, his addiction is not YOUR addiction. It is his.

It is great that you are there still to help him if need be, without enabling him. I hope he sees how much he is loved, and in turn loves himself enough to stop.

8 Comments

View replies by

Ann - posted on 12/08/2013

1

0

0

I don't have a child on drugs but from reading your letter, it seems you've done all that you can do. You definitely don't sound like you're a enabler and hopefully your son comes back to love and realize how much you want to help. It's very important that you don't blame yourself although it seems like you know this. Just keep in mind that there is only do much you can do until he's ready t to help himself. I wish you peace and strength.

Djanna - posted on 07/21/2013

11

1

2

thank you I will follow the link! I appreciate your advice about, "I need and I want". I thought about what you said and it makes sense.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/21/2013

21,273

9

3058

Don't worry. your post is open to comments. I will see if I can find that community for you and post the link.

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

Djanna - posted on 07/21/2013

11

1

2

Would someone tell me if I am in the wrong group please. I thought a joined a group for moms with drug addicted sons and daughters.
I am also not sure if I know what "Close this thread for comments" means. I might be keeping people from commenting. I don't understand.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms