[deleted account] ( no moms have responded yet )
Hi dear Moms, I an new here. Please help me. I could use some advice from you.
I'm going through very strange time in my life when all my memories of loosing my very first 5 m.o baby is back even stronger and bitter.
Suddenly I get more vivid and painful thoughts and memories again. It seems that very little things can trigger that pain, even happy things, song, dance of my daughter. Things that not related directly to that painful day when he past away. I was told by one stranger, that maybe it's time to talk about it with people, who went through the same pain, to get through grieving with others?
What should I do with that pain that takes me away from my new family, my loving husband and precious daughter? My new husband knows about my previous marriage and lose of my first baby, but our 9 y.o girl doesn't, so I keep it as a secret from her for now. When is the time to tell her she had a sibling? Do I need to tell her? Will it help me? Am I ready for her questions? I do not know. Some say that she will be proud and maybe happy to know that long time ago she had a brother? My first reaction to that advice was - it's a bit selfish of me to tell her. She wasn't even there. It's not like she lost her baby brother when she was little. Some say the on the day of birth of my son Alexander we should make a special day and put his picture out, some flowers maybe... I'm lost.
Thank you very much for any advice.