26 years old very upset prego with baby number four

Mama Three - posted on 12/01/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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im 26 I had my first baby at 18 my second at 20 from the same father ... he ended up abusing drugs so we broke up and still isn't around for the kids. I recently had my third baby whom is 7 months we all love him dearly but I went through a lot of depression 2 days after my sons birth hes father told me he had a child he never told me about she was 11 months whom I still feel destroyed by because I wish I would of known this before I had my son ! ( he has a older son I accepted from the beginning )anyways yes am stupid I had sex with him twice after that and I took plan b and am pregnant ! $$ wise im supporting all 3 and barley get to used the rest room at home and I work a full time job just enough to make it through ! im scared to have another child I know I will repeat and b a single mom of 4 without a father role model to any of them I really needed to vent please I need help or advice abortion is a solution i don't know what to do i will be affected either way

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Sarah - posted on 12/01/2015

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I agree. You should not have to support three kids you made with a partner. Whether the fathers want to parent or not, they are obligated to support their offspring.
I am not sure I am reading your last sentence correctly...if you truly feel like terminating the pregnancy is an option, it is ok to consider it. I support your right to choose. If you do decide to carry the baby or not, I think you will come through this just fine.

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Mama Three - posted on 12/01/2015

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My first two kids father owes me a few thousands still refuses to pay and his visitation got dismissed due to he's drug abuse we recently went to court.my little guys dad give me $70every two months:(yes I know I did I should of Been using more protection but this is my situation n now I have to make the choice I never wanted to be in very depressed at the moment thanks everyone for ur advice I have a lot of thinking to do

Dove - posted on 12/01/2015

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Kids can grow up w/out a father. It's not ideal, but it can be OK. It's up to you to start making better choices for your children. Do you have court orders for custody, visitation, and child support? If not... get them. Just because the fathers choose not to be involved does not mean they aren't legally obligated to support their children. There ARE ways for a parent to get around paying child support, but it will eventually catch up to them.

You can do this.

Raye - posted on 12/01/2015

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Kids grow up all the time with single mothers and no male role model. And most of them are just fine. If you're strong enough you can do it.

First, stop having unprotected sex. Plan B is not birth control. Plan A is using condoms, getting on the pill, the patch, injections, implants, or something as long as you're using birth control or else DON'T HAVE SEX. Also, choose better partners that are going to be supportive and respectful of you and your kids and have a better chance of sticking around for the long haul. You're a mother. You have to think about more than yourself and selfish desires. You have to think about what's best for your kids.

Second, if you haven't filed for child support from your baby-daddies, then you should do so. Any mother who is no longer with the father of her child(ren), should go to court.... get custody established for herself... get visitation set up for the father so he knows his rights if he chooses to see his kids... and file for child support. These are basic things. These are protections and benefits for you and your kids.

Ev - posted on 12/01/2015

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You need to get child support, custody and visitation set up on all the father's involved in having these kids with. When you have the fourth kid then get your tubes tied or something or quit having sex unprotected.

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