2yr old is scared of my unborn sons father Not sure what to do ??

Charity - posted on 01/20/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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We were only dating a month and half when I became pregnant he freaked and was gone for a few months but said he would still always be there for baby now were trying to make it work...for the last 5 months Slowly of course no need to rush into marriage and both be miserable ya know but my 2 yr old daughter is afraid of him she really isnt around guys that much and he dosn't come over when she is awake or home very often shes never been left alone with him the only time shes really around him is at his mothers house which she loves going too and she will talk about him when hes not around or when hes at a distance but if he tells her no usually to keep her from getting hurt she explodes into tears and runs for me. I am at at a loss as what to do I dont want this to be a problem when our son is born cause I know he will be here alot . It bothers him as much as it does me and i want us to work, he dosnt have kids so he dosen't understand why she acts like this Im not sure if its a trust issue or what ? HELP

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Gwen - posted on 01/22/2013

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She's only 2 and you are the main caregiver in her life. It's just going to take a lot of time and patience for her to warm up to him. If he is really committed to building a relationship with her, he (and you) need to quit being "bothered" by it. The more time they spend together, the easier it will become. You are her "safe" person. When she bursts into tears and comes to you, she is looking for reassurance.

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Charity - posted on 01/21/2013

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I know he needs to be around more but I cant force him to be here when she is we both have jobs and I also have school . My daughter has a father and he isn't there to take his place in that role. And he does not discipline her either he simply just says no as nicely as possible and she simply just looses it. Like I said were taking it a day at a time I would really like us to work out I really like him and my daughter seems to like him if hes at a distance lol she talks about him carrys the stuffed horse around that he got her for Christmas and she will even say Michael got it for me or when she sees a deer or a gun she will talk about Michael going hunting shooting deer and pretend to shoot the deer her self lol. Michael has no children except the one on the way and I can tell this bothers him as much as it does me. He said hes never had any child not like him before he trys playing with her but she just cant seem to let go and enjoy the fun.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/20/2013

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Well, it seems kind of obvious what the answer is. He needs to be around more often. They need to get to know one another. He should not be the disiplinarian at this point. He is not her father, and from what you are saying has not expressed interest in becoming her father, so he should not be a father figure when she is around. Therefore, has no business yelling at her. BUT they do need to build a relationship. She needs to get to know him and trust him if he is going to be in your life.

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