Kristen - posted on 07/14/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hi Madres. My husband and I love our theatrical, energetic five year old. He loves to make up stories, do dramatic play, and listen to chapter books. He is (sometimes delightfully) opinionated about what to wear.
His interests orbit around princess stories, designing clothes, tinkerbell, and he is a great appreciator of feminine beauty.
Since this situation is densely packed with a can of glitter pink worms, my hope in this question to fellow moms is fairly limited. It is grounded in these decisions we've already made:
1) testing limits and relationship norms, kids are bound to be mean at times.
2) we allow our son to wear dresses at home. We received a trunk of dress up clothes from a friend of his, they were intended for his younger sister. But even before these clothes arrived, our son would ask me to tie his baby blankets around him "like a dress"
3) "don't encourage it!"-my mother's advice. We have noticed that doting parents go to great lengths to affirm and develop their children's interests. Why else would there be moms and grannies packing up and paying hundreds of dollars to attend the American Girl conference, where they can buy outfits for the doll they own that looks like them? Why else would toy and party stores sell all things spider man?
4) I am no longer asking why its empowering for my son's friend Olivia to have a spiderman birthday party (and thomas the year before) but emasculating for our son to have a princess or tinkerbell birthday party.
5) we know our son is "a great kid, so happy, bright, articulate" as friends have said.
6) we've read a ton and know that it's not our job right now, as parents, to"figure out what this is.". He doesn't even know. Could be that he is in the future a straight gay or transgendered adult. Right now, it's gender variant behavior.
So, here are my questions:
1. Our friend's daughter in Disney Dance Camp with him, was almost in tears at dinner last night, telling her mom how mean the other girls were to my son. (he wears a white shirt, black shorts, boys tap and jazz shoes). I have checked with the teacher and she has said there was a little bit of meaness, which she felt she handled....I am mostly interested in what they are saying and how to equip him with resilience to respond. I don't want to talk to her to prevent it, but there's a tv where u can see them.
2. What do you tell your kids when/if they talk to you or ask ??s about boys like mine?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.