3 stillbirths 2 healthy births

Toni - posted on 04/13/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hi I have had go go through the heartache of a stillbirth 3 times my first was 7th April 2004 my second was 16th August 2009 and my most resent was 3rd May 2011 I have been told I shouldn't try anymore but I am broken my husband doesn't talk about them and I feel like I can't start the conversation about them I feel so alone I know it gets easier but you never forget and you never stop feeling the pain I always find it amazing that most days in your life you forget but these 3 days I can relieve over and I never forget

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Toni - posted on 04/16/2015

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hi Jamie sorry for your loss you will be scared and unfortunately that feeling doesn't go away even if you do try again it is always there no one can tell you it won't happen again but you need to think could you go through the pain again I really hope this helps if you want to talk some more I come on here in a morning and after 9pm on a night and remember you are not alone x

Jamie - posted on 04/15/2015

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I'm in the same boat.My first was January1 st,2010.My second was September 15,2013. I want to try again but I'm scared. I will never forget those dates. I really want to but don't know if I can handle the emotional break down that I go through

Toni - posted on 04/14/2015

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Thank you so much for your kind words I don't know what to do because I look at the 2 I have and I was blessed with a boy and a girl and I think that's enough I have a massive hole that I cannot fill no matter what I do I was told not to have anymore at I nearly died myself on the last 2 so yes you're right I have to think if it's worth it

Chana - posted on 04/14/2015

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I am so sorry for your losses. I really don't know what to say that may help. If you really want another baby talk to your husband. I know you said he doesn't want to talk about the babies you lost but it is very likely that he still feels the pain too and if he doesn't talk about he can try not to think about it and he also knows it upsets you and I am sure he does not like to see you upset. Have you considered grief counseling? Just a thought before you consider having another baby. If you decide you really want another baby I would seriously consider surrogate or adoption because if they are telling you not to try anymore it may be detrimental to your health not only that of the baby. When you are considering having another baby you need to remember that you have two beautiful children that love and need their mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Toni - posted on 04/14/2015

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No I don't know what I want to do because everytime I come up with something my husband just says he can't go through it again

Sarah - posted on 04/14/2015

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What options have you considered? Adoption or surrogacy are possible, or you could try again. Have you been to a good high risk peri-natal specialist?

Toni - posted on 04/14/2015

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The 1st one no reason I went to 34 weeks the second my placenta erupted and I went to 36 and the last one my whom erupted and I went to 24 weeks that's why I Carnot have any more

Sarah - posted on 04/13/2015

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What did they determine the cause of your losses? You had three full term stillborn deliveries. How sad.

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